Strange Comfort

I have Obsessive-Compulsive-Disorder (which I was surprised to discover as I don’t fit the stereotype of someone worried about cleanliness).  A few years ago, I had a breakdown, which was followed by a number of weeks of deep darkness.  Those days were very hard, and I am thankful that I am much better now.  Maybe you struggle with anxiety and depression too.

The root of the problem

Why do our brains not function as they should?  Why do we struggle with anxiety and depression?  While there are many factors that contribute to mental health problems they share a single root: we live in a fallen world!  The Fall describes how the first humans rebelled against the loving rule of God.  This resulted in the Curse, which means that because of this sin, death has entered human experience.  Our bodies, including our brains, are subject to sickness and decay. 

Since the Fall people are born with a sinful nature—we have a natural tendency towards self-centredness and a hostility towards God.  We also have a hostility towards others, and so we don’t live in harmony.  This is seen in the lives of Cain and Abel, the sons of Adam and Eve.  Cain was jealous of Abel and murdered him.  A big factor in anxiety and depression is the hurt that other people do to us.  I have a friend whose mother used to wake her in the middle of the night to tell her that she was worthless.  This contributed to her mental health problems. 

We even hurt ourselves.  For example, we struggle with anger when we don’t get our way.  Uncontrolled anger has been shown to set a person up for stress, depression, anxiety and even heart attacks.  ‘A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones’ (Prov. 14:30).  Thankfully, God gives His people the Holy Spirit who can produce in us self-control (Gal. 5:23).

Sometimes God may use feelings of sorrow to bring us back to Him when we go astray (as we can see Him doing for David in Psalm 32).  At all times we should be asking God to show us what issues He wants to deal with in our lives.  However, being anxious and depressed does not necessarily mean that we have committed some particular sin to cause it.  If God is using this pain to call you back to himself, He will make that clear.

One of the results of the Curse is that work is now difficult.  Over-work and a lack of rest may be causing you to struggle with your mental health.  When the prophet Elijah was weary and despondent God saw that what he needed was food and rest (1 Kings 19:4-7).  Many depressed people have an exaggerated sense of responsibility that drives them mercilessly.

A variety of helps

There may be a variety of factors, all as a result of living in this fallen world, that contribute to your mental health problems.  Depression and anxiety-related illness might run in your family.  There may be wounds that others have inflicted on you, or that you have inflicted on yourself.  You may have been under a level of pressure that has been beyond your ability to cope.  Because there can be a variety of factors causing your depression and anxiety you may need a variety of helps.  I have been supported by the wise counsel of mature Christians who speak God’s truth into my life, the advice that is given though Cognitive behaviour Therapy and every day I am helped by medication.

Strange comfort

Thankfully the Curse is not God’s last word for humankind.  In extraordinary love He sent His Son to experience unimaginable anguish in order to take the punishment our sin deserves.  Now Jesus offers to bring us to a place where there will be no more tears (Rev. 21:1-4). But is not just future hope that sustains us. 

While the Fall and the Curse lie behind all our pain in this world, so does God.  Enemies may wound us, but God could have shut their mouths.  Circumstances may hurt us, but God is in control of all things.  Similarly, our brain chemistry is not beyond His ordering.  This is actually good news!

During my deepest depression myself and my wife held on to a quote from John Newton: ‘Everything is needful that he sends; nothing can be needful that He withholds.’  God being in control may leave us with some painful and difficult questions.  At times we may be left feeling baffled.  But it is better to be in the hands of the God beyond our understanding who is in control of all things, than living at the mercy of blind chaos—especially when that God has invited me to call Him Father.

Am I beyond God's forgiveness?

My Story

I am not sure if I was a Christian at the time.  I had prayed a prayer at a Scripture Union Camp a couple of years before, but like most thirteen year-olds my faith was very superficial and immature.

I was with my family on a camping holiday.  I think that I had read the book ‘From Witchcraft to Christ’ and was fascinated with the powers the author seemed to experience in her witchcraft days.

Anyway, one night I could not sleep.  It was humid because a storm was brewing.  In my restlessness I felt a very strong temptation to see what would happen if I said a satanic prayer.  Would I levitate or get magical powers?  I resisted and resisted, hoping to fall asleep so that the temptation would go away.  But eventually to my shame I gave in.  I don’t know what I prayed, in fact I am scared to think what I might have said, but I do know that I was not motivated at all by wanting to end with Jesus.  I just wanted to see what would happen.  When nothing magical happened, I acknowledged that I had been a fool and asked God’s forgiveness.  However, the storm that had been brewing erupted later that night, and as the thunder and lightning crashed down I feared that God was expressing his rage with me.  I feared I might never be forgiven.

I more or less forgot about that incident and for the next few years I was not much of a Christian.  I was a boarder in school and kept quiet about my faith.  In fact, other than praying self-centred prayers at night and thinking of myself as being a good person there was not much evidence of any meaningful faith in my life.

However, when I got to college (after two attempts at my leaving certificate) I decided it was time to take faith seriously.  I joined the university’s Christian Union and began to understand the gospel.  I was very sensitive and struggled to accept the fact that God punishes those who refuse his grace in hell.  The truth is that I had no clue about the God’s Word.  I neither understood the awfulness of human sin and necessity of the amazing grace that flows from the death of Jesus on the cross.  Although I was known as a fun-loving and light-hearted individual, the truth was that there was an underlying tendency towards anxiety.

Fear of the unforgivable sin

Just before my first-year exams I stumbled across the concept of the unforgiveable sin.  I was sure I had committed it before I had even figured out what I might have done to be guilty it.  If the very mention of such a sin frightens you, let me assure you that ‘if we … fear that we might be guilty [of this sin], it is a clear sign that we have not … and are in no danger of committing it’ (New Bible Commentary). 

Whatever the nature of the unforgivable sin one thing that is certain is that it involves a hardness of heart.  One Bible commentary explains that ‘you will know if you have committed the unpardonable sin.  The desire to be a Christian will be forever past.  No spiritual impression will ever again come to your soul.  A hardening process will have taken place … The person who sincerely asks for pardon will never be refused.’

Fearful Warnings

I am not sure how I managed to get over that stage of fear.  I did, however, suffer more crippling anxiety in my next year of college.  Again, it was exam time.  While I was not lazy about my studies, neither was I someone who drove themselves too hard.  The night before my first summer exam I could not sleep.  I was actually unaware that this was the effect of stress.  I thought it might by the ill-effects of a burger I had eaten.  Yet within a couple of days I was a complete wreck.  I remember wriggling around on the floor of my bedroom in agony because I couldn’t get even a simple geographical equation into my head.  Thankfully, as the exams passed so did my panic.

Perhaps the worst time in my life occurred two years later.  I was talking to a staff worker from University and Colleges Christian Fellowship and I mentioned how I had once feared about the unforgivable sin.  He thought I was talking about the warning passages in the book of Hebrews in the Bible.  These warnings speak of people who fall away from the Christian faith and can’t be restored to repentance.  When I heard about such warnings I was thrown into an inconsolable panic.  I thought, ‘how could my dabbling with Satanism as a thirteen-year-old have been anything other than an irrevocable falling away?’  I remember that O. J. Simpson was being tried for murder that summer and I actually envied him because I felt that he had more hope than me.  He might have gone to prison but I thought I was eternally doomed.

A calm head would have been the best thing in this situation.  I looked up a commentary at the university library on Hebrews and it explained that ‘it is the impossibility of repenting that is being affirmed and is not a question of knowing whether fresh forgiveness can be obtained if one does repent.’  As another commentary points out, ‘he does not say that it is impossible for God to forgive them.  God will forgive anyone who repents and believes.  But these people will not repent; and there can be no forgiveness without repentance’ (Gooding).  But when your life is filled with terror can be almost impossible to think straight.

Your story

So what if you share the fears that I have experienced?  Let me share with you some of the comforting words that I have gleaned from various Christian theologians.

In his ‘Concise Theology’, James Packer writes about the unpardonable sin and the Hebrews passages and concludes, ‘Christians who fear that they have committed the unpardonable sin show by their very anxiety that they have not done so.’

Maybe you have heard of the book, The Pilgrim’s Progress.  This allegory of the Christian life actually ranks fourth among literary works by the numbers of languages that it has been translated into.  Pilgrim’s Progress was written by John Bunyan in 1678.  Anyway, Bunyan struggled with fears that he was beyond God’s grace for for a number of years because he thought he was guilty of the sins mentioned in the Hebrew warning passages.  He came to the conclusion that such a sin does not happen in a hurry or sudden fit, and is accompanied with a continual resolve never to be converted again.  He realised that a person guilty of such resistance to God would be characterised by an impenetrable resistance to God.  I was very blessed by a friend who recommended another of Bunyan’s books, called ‘Grace Abounding to the Chief of Sinners.’  In ‘Grace Abounding’ Bunyan tells of how as he worked through his fears he took great comfort from the promise of Jesus that ‘he that comes to me I will in no way cast out’ (John 6:37).

I find comfort from some of the great historical Christians too.  Matthew Henry was a famous commentator writing in the seventeenth-century.  He writes that ‘the humbled sinner who pleads guilty, and cries for mercy, can have no ground from this passage [Hebrews 6] to be discouraged, whatever his conscience may tell him.’  The sixteenth-century reformer, John Calvin, writes about Hebrews 6, ‘when any one rises up again after falling we may hence conclude that he had not been guilty of defection, however grievously he may have sinned.’  The great early bishop, Augustine, writing in the fourth century, points out that ‘the Holy Spirit is present in the man who confesses his sin.  For it is already a gift of the Holy Spirit when an offense you have committed displeases you.’ 

My favourite Christian from previous generations is John Newton, the former-slave trader, who had rejected the faith his mother taught him, who went on to excel in profanity and cursing, and then was dramatically converted.  He became an Anglican (Church of England) minister and is best known for writing the hymn, ‘Amazing Grace’.  As a young Christian Newton was worried about the Hebrews warnings until he came to see that his desire for God was evidence of the Holy Spirit at work in him.

It is about the heart

Augustine’s explanation about the Holy Spirit’s work in convicting us of sin is an important pointer to the fact that what the writer to the Hebrews is warning us about has to do with a state of heart that makes us impenetrable to the work of Holy Spirit.  When I look back on what I did as a thirteen-year old I can’t see how there could be a worse sin than the one I committed.  I certainly don’t want to minimise it.  However, I do know that it was not motivated by any desire to end with Jesus.

In fact I would be careful suggesting that you pour a microscope over the sin that worries you.  If the particular sin is causing you to question whether God can forgive you this may be unhelpful, especially during times of emotional insecurity.  Instead, thank God for the fact God has given you a hatred for that sin and he has brought that conviction because wants you to experience his forgiveness.  However, remember that our enemy, Satan, is an accuser whose wants to leave you in hopeless despair.

See God’s work in your heart.  Your desire to be at peace with God is a gift of God.  He has given the warnings of Hebrews so that you would not harden your hearts to his gracious gospel (Hebrews 3:8).  ‘God has pledged Himself to pardon all who truly repent, but Scripture and experience alike suggest that it is possible for human beings to arrive at a state of heart and life when they can no longer repent’ (Bruce).  Similarly, one commentator writing about the unpardonable sin explains that, ‘what Jesus is speaking of here is not an isolated act but a settled condition of the soul – the result of a long history of repeated and wilful acts of sin.  And if the person involved cannot be forgiven it is not so much that God refuses to forgive as it is that the sinner refuses to allow him’ (Wessel).  One of favourite theologian’s Don Carson, when he speaks about the unforgiveable sin relates it to the Hebrew warning passages and says that the person has reached the stage that is been spoken of they don’t want to be forgiven: there is no sign of contrition or brokenness or faith any more with them.  I am pretty sure that if you are reading this chapter with sincerity then you are by no means near the hardness of heart that the Bible warns against.  In the nineteenth-century a famous English Bishop, J. C. Ryle wrote, ‘‘there is such a thing as a sin which can never be forgiven.  But those who are troubled about it are most unlikely to have committed it.’

Take God at his word

‘God’s forgiveness is always open to the penitent’ (Leon Morris).  Remember how John Bunyan came to peace on this issue by meditating on the promise of Jesus that, ‘I will never drive away anyone who comes to me’ (John 6:37). 

Martin Lloyd-Jones was a famous Welch preacher who ministered in London in the last century.  In his book, ‘Spiritual Depression’ he explains that he counselled more people about ‘that one sin’ than any other pastoral concern people brought to him.  So he would bring the worried person to the promise of 1 John 1:9, which assures us that if we confess our sins, God will forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  He would explain to them that ‘this is a categorical statement made by the Holy Spirit through his servant.  There is no limit to it … I cannot see any qualifications whatsoever.  Whatever your sin – it is as wide as that – it does not matter what it was.’  He then told the person seeking his help that their real problem was not the past sin they were worrying about but the fact that they were refusing to take God’s promise at his word.  Take God promises as your comfort!

The most fearful text

When I first thought that I had fallen beyond recovery, I was especially terrified about the story of Esau recounted in Hebrews 12.  The writer to the Hebrews says that Esau sought a place of repentance with tears.  But we must remember to apply all that we have learned so far into understanding this text.  Esau despised the birth-right he sold to his brother.  Yes he regretted his action, but he was not repentant for his sin.  There was remorse, but there was no genuine repentance.  Pastor John Piper is very helpful on this passage telling us not to ‘make the mistake of thinking that Esau genuinely repented and was rejected by God.  God does not reject genuine repentance … he was so hardened that he cried out for things to go better in his life, but inside he would not submit to God’s terms.  He was, as verse 16 says, “immoral and godless”.’  Remember that God never rejects genuine repentance! 

Your fear may be a symptom of something more

I recently had a short but terrifying nervous break-down.  On the evening it hit I was crippled with the most awful fear, and my fears centred on the idea that I might be beyond God’s grace, because of what I did when I was thirteen.  I went up to bed and my body literally shook with nerves.  Caroline, my wife, was wonderful, she climbed into bed beside me and held me, but actually no-one could take the fear away.  In the middle of the night I rang a friend who is a New Testament lecturer in a leading evangelical seminary in Australia (I did keep the hour-difference in mind).  Peter’s words of comfort reassured me for a while, but then I would start to worry again.  I emailed him every day for a week with further queries that reflected my insecurities.  Peter was very wise, for he stopped dealing with my specific Hebrew questions and simply challenged me to focus on the promises and truths of the gospel.

In the next couple of days I came across a random website that made the very valid point that many people who are full of fear about the warning passages in the Bible actually are dealing with deeper fear issues, and that they will search commentary after commentary looking for comfort but never being satisfied.  They become like a hypochondriac going from doctor to doctor looking for assurance but never feeling comforted.  I can relate to that.  One thing that I had to do during my break-down was give my phone to my Caroline.  You see we don’t have Wi-Fi in our house and my phone is my internet.  There was a danger that I spend my time searching the web and might come across something unhelpful on the subject by some pre-reformation theologian who didn’t understand the abundant nature of God’s grace.  When you are in a state of anxiety be careful not to go looking up lots of commentaries.  I have found that at times I have misunderstood what some of the writers are saying and made matters worse for myself.  Instead, keep focusing on the promises of God.  And talk to mature Christians who respect the Bible, and understand God’s nature and kindness  

The reality is that there was a lot more going on in my life than a mere theological issue that caused my breakdown.  As I pointed out in the last chapter, I take medicines for Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, but I had become irregular in taking them and cut out one of the tablets altogether.  The breakdown I experienced was largely due to serotonin fluctuations in my system.  Can I plead with you that if you find yourself in debilitating panic that you consider talking to a doctor?  It may be that you need medical help with your anxiety in order to come to a place where you are capable of accepting God’s promises to you. 

I would also advise you to review the stress levels caused by family, work and church commitments.  I have found that walking is very helpful for me, prayer can bring comfort (and even if you can’t believe God cares for you, don’t listen to that lie and pray anyway), ask other people to pray for you too, don’t isolate yourself but limit your social contact, and be open (you may find people are more caring than you expected). 

Conclusion

Martyn Lloyd-Jones preached a famous series of sermons on Romans.  He took fourteen years at it on Friday nights, only having breaks for the summer.  He actually didn’t even finish the series, stopping the series due to ill-health.  These sermons are printed as a series of books.  His book on the second half on Romans eight is a gem (I recommend it to all who want to meditate on God’s unbreakable love).   In this book he has some things to say about the Hebrews warning passages.  I have found these words more helpful than almost anything else I have read on this topic.  Lloyd-Jones writes:

I can say definitely after some thirty-five years of pastoral ministry experience that there are no passages in the whole of Scriptures which have more frequently troubled people and caused them soul agony than the passages on Hebrews 6:4-6 and the corresponding passage in Hebrews 10:26-29 … to be worried and troubled by these warning passages, far from proving that you are reprobate, is proof that you are not reprobate, but rather a child of God … To be troubled about the state of our souls when we read passages such as these in and of itself evidence that we are sensitive to God’s Word and His Spirit, that we have spiritual life in us and our chief concern is to know that we are children of God … If ever a man [or woman] wants to believe [the] truth [of the gospel] it is always the work of the Holy Spirit; for the natural man never receives it, the carnal mind is at ‘enmity’ against it.  Any man who ever desires to receive it and who is grieved and sore vexed by his unbelief, can be sure that the statement of Hebrews chapter six has nothing to do with him.

Those who know me will tell you that I love my dog, Charlie.  So I can’t help but finish this chapter with an illustration I came across in a little book of sermons on the Prodigal Son by the great nineteenth-century preacher Charles Spurgeon:

When I walked down my garden some time ago I found a dog amusing himself among the flowers.  I knew that he was not a good gardener, and no dog of mine, so I threw a stick at him and bade him begone.  After I had done so, he conquered me, and made me ashamed of having spoken roughly to him, for he picked up my stick, and, wagging his tail right pleasantly, he brought the stick to me, and dropped it at my feet.  Do you think I could stick him or drive him away after that?  No, I patted him and called him good names.  The dog had conquered the man.  And if you, poor sinner, dog as you are, can have confidence enough in God to come to him just as you are, it is not in his heart to spurn you.  There is omnipotence in simple faith which will conquer even the divine Being himself.  Only do but trust him as he reveals himself in Jesus, and you shall find salvation.

I love the fact that a simply incident between a man and a dog over a hundred years ago brings me comfort.  I just love that story and how Spurgeon tells it.  But what is really wonderful is the statement, ‘there is an omnipotence [an infinite power] in simple faith which will conquer even the divine Being.’  It is not in God’s nature ever to turn away those who are genuinely repentant, and even though our repentance always lacks fully purity, it is by nature a gift from God.  A gift he gives to you and delights to accept from you!

So why not finish reading this blog post by meditating on the promises that my friend Peter sent to me during my breakdown?

John 6:37, ‘All that the Father gives to me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never cast out’

1 John 1:9, ‘If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.’

John 3:36, ‘Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life.’

Psalm 32:5, ‘I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover mu iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and he forgave the iniquity of my sin.’

Maybe you need to pray, ‘Lord I believe this is true, but help me in my unbelief.’

Postscript:

I love study Bibles, so here are two wonderful pieces of advice from two of my favourite:

New International Zondervan Study Bible (on Hebrews 6):  ‘This is strong language, however, in practical terms, someone who is repentant and desires restoration to Christ, thereby shows that he or she is not in the irretrievable conduction these verses describe.  A repentant heart will always be welcomed.’

English Standard Study Bible (on Hebrews 6):  ‘… it is wise pastoral advice to encourage a person who worries that he may have committed such a deep sin, that the very desire to repent and to be restored to fellowship with the Christian community is evidence that he has not “fallen away” in the permanent, irrevocable way described in the verses.’

A friend in need

William Cowper was one of the greatest English poets of the eighteenth century.  He was also a man who faced a dreadful battle with depression.  But he received great help from the hymn-writer, John Newton.  When he met Newton, he had attempted suicide on a number of occasions and spent two years in an asylum.

People weren’t always helpful to Cowper—one bout of depression was triggered by the graceless speculations of gossips.  But Newton was a genuine friend.  Newton and Cowper’s back gardens were separated by an orchard, and they paid a guinea a year so that they could walk freely between the two houses.  They worked together on producing many hymns.

On New Year’s Day 1773, an hour after hearing Newton preach at the morning service, Cowper feared that the clouds of depression were returning.  He wrote the hymn ‘God moves in mysterious ways’, and then his fears were realised as depression descended on him.  His mind plunged into the abyss of madness.  That night he suffered from terrible hallucinations.  Newton was called for in the small hours of the morning.  In the coming days, Cowper suffered further hallucinations and panic attacks.  During the next three months, Newton spent several hours a day with his friend, and was frequently called to his bedside at inconvenient hours of the night.  Then Cowper came to live with him for thirteen months, until he was well enough to move back to his own home.   

I am not saying that we will all be able to give the same level of attention to our depressed friends, but I want us to be inspired by Newton’s kindness.  This morning we are thinking about what advice we can give those who are living with a depressed person and how to help those who are suffering with depression.

O.C.D. and me

When I was in my late teens and early twenties, I started struggling a little bit with anxiety.  That anxiety became especially severe one summer and persisted to various degrees over the following years.  At times that anxiety turned into bouts of depression.

The nature of my anxieties changed slightly in my thirties, as I began to struggle to keep certain thoughts out of my mind.  When I found out that my grandmother had suffered severe mental health issues, I began to wonder if my anxiety had a medical root.

So, at a time when my thoughts seemed unmanageable, I went to the doctor.  In God’s kindness there happened to be both a couple of General Practitioners and a Psychiatrist in the church where I was working.  Rosie could see that I was struggling, gave me some tablets and arranged for Stephen, the psychiatrist, to visit me that night.

Stephen heard what I was saying and immediately diagnosed the problem.  He described my thoughts as being ridiculous, resistant, repetitive and repulsive to me.  He said that I was suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  He told me to take two months off work, prescribed some special tablets and recommended that I take a course in Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.

My Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is much better than it used to be.  The Cognitive Behaviour Therapy taught me how to understand my thoughts, and I still take tablets every day.

I want to look at the issue of depression and anxiety from a Christian perspective and answer some questions concerning them.

1.  What causes depression?

Ed Welch writes: ‘Depression is a form of suffering that can’t be reduced to one universal cause.  Many factors may cause depression, and often more than one of these factors is at work in the depressed person.’

Depression can be the result of other people.  People hurt us in a variety of ways.  Many victims of abuse struggle with mental health issues in later life.  Many people carry the wounds caused by an unloving parent, a harsh teacher or a school bully.  In recent years I have wondered if a traumatic incident of bullying from my first year as a boarder in school has had more of a long-term impact on me than I have often assumed.

Depression is the result of living in a fallen world.  The book of Genesis teaches that, because of human rebellion, God has subject humankind to decay and death.  Our bodies ache and deteriorate, and we are prone to physical and mental illness.  Shona Murray points out that to deny the existence of mental or emotional illnesses is to deny an aspect of the Bible's teaching on the fall.  We know that our thought processes can be influenced by brain chemistry and we know that the damaging effects of the fall affect all of our body, including our brain.

Sometimes we are the cause of our depression.  For example, anger is a notorious cause of depression.  We can’t expect a joyous life if we are critical, bitter and unforgiving.  I heard a very good warning about the effects of anger: anger is an acid that eats its own container.  The Christian gospel both challenges us and enables us to forgive.  That forgiving is very good for us. 

Lifestyle issues can trigger depression.  You may be overworked and under-rested.  There may be issues of illness and grief that you can do nothing about.  

I have noticed that many depressed friends have a tendency to feel an exaggerated sense of responsibility.  They blame themselves for everything and take the concerns of the world on their shoulders.  Some are prone to self-doubt and insecurity.  Another feature I have noticed in the depressed is a tendency to be overly harsh or critical of themselves.

False beliefs can be a factor.  If you think you are of no value, you will be prone to feeling depressed.  If you believe that God does not love you, you will suffer from morbid fears.  One of the tasks I feel I have as a pastor is to always be teaching myself that God is good and then to show others that goodness.

Satan is a factor in depression.  Not in a wacky sense, but in the fact that he will remind you of past guilt, tempt you towards bitterness and seek to implant in you doubts about the goodness of God.

In Psalm 32, King David links a time of depression to God’s discipline.  He had refused to face up to his sin, after his adultery with Bathsheba.  So, God’s hand was heavy upon him until he acknowledged his guilt.  However, never assume that someone’s depression is God’s discipline, but always examine your heart to see if God might be drawing attention to issues that he wants to deal with you.

Finally, there is a sense in which God stands behind all our depression.  After all God rules over everything that takes place in the universe.  Enemies may wound us, but God could shut their mouths.  Circumstances may have hurt us, but he is Lord of all creation.  Similarly, our brain chemistry is not beyond his control.

If depression and anxiety have many causes, often at work in the one sufferer, then we need to be open to a variety of helps.  People should go to their doctor and see if their may be a medical cause and a medical solution.  They might also go to a Christian pastor, counsellor or friend and talk about how circumstances and memories have left scares with them.  They should also be praying, asking God to show them their heart and working his love into their heart.

2.  Is it unspiritual to be depressed?

My first response to this question is to point out that there are many godly people who have passed through times of immense sorrow.  The great Baptist preacher, Charles Spurgeon, struggled with depression throughout his life.  What seems to have ignited this was a specific tragedy.  

Spurgeon was preaching to a huge congregation—of over twelve thousand people, at the Exeter Hall in London—when someone yelled, “Fire!”  In the chaos that ensured seven people were killed, and Spurgeon was inconsolable.  Other factors contributed to his depressions, including his struggles with gout and his concern for those he pastored.  Like many pastors he was good at caring for his flocks needs but sometimes negligent of his own.  

He said that there are dungeons beneath the Castle of Despair, and that he had often been in them.  ‘I could weep by the hour like a child, and yet I knew not what I wept for,’ he recounted on one occasion.

In the book of Psalms, we often hear the psalmists crying out to God in despair.  ‘All night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears’ (Psalm 6:6).  Over fifty of the Psalms can be classified as psalms of individual lament, which means that they are the divinely inspired words of an individual who is pouring out their pain to God.   These laments are given to us by God, in part, to help us express our pain.

We must also remember that Jesus was a man of sorrows familiar with grief (Isaiah 53:3).  Spurgeon wrote, ‘No sin is necessarily connected with sorrow of the heart, for Jesus Christ our Lord once said, “My soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death.”  There was no sin in Him, and consequently none in his depression.’

However, I must give you one warning: in your depression do not sin!  Depression does present us with particular temptations.  Most obviously, depression tempts us towards self-pity.  Also, some people try to find comfort in wrong ways like over-eating, overworking and alcohol abuse.

But, what about the fact that one aspect of the fruit of the Spirit is joy?  Am I less spiritual when I am depressed and full of sorrow?  I put this question to a friend of mine, who is a lecturer in a leading evangelical theological college.  He replied, ‘I guess joy is not simply an emotion.  And so, someone with depression can still (though it would be harder) rejoice—have confidence in the Lord.’  He then says that Psalm 31:7-9 might be worth looking at.  That Psalms reads, ‘I will be glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish of my soul … Be merciful to me Lord, for I am in distress; my eyes grow week with sorrow, my soul and body with grief.’  Here we can see that anguish of soul and trust in God can go hand in hand.  This is surely an example of being sorrowful, yet always rejoicing (2 Cor. 6:10).  Ed Welch writes, ‘Joy is not the opposite of depression.  It is deeper than depression.  Therefore, you can experience both.’

Joan Singleton lectures in pastoral care in the Irish Bible Institute.   At one stage, when she was depressed, she wondered if her depression inhibited her witness as a Christian.  Then she realised the powerful testimony in the fact that she was still hanging on to God and believing his truth, even though her life was filled with pain.

3.  What about anxiety, isn’t it wrong to worry?

I am not disputing that worry can be a real sin, but I think that anxiety can have many roots, some of which are not sinful.

I see a parallel between anxiety and doubt.  On certain occasions Jesus rebuked the disciples for their doubt, because it revealed a stubborn refusal to accept the truth (e.g. John 20:27).  Yet in the letter of Jude we read that we are to ‘be merciful to those who doubt’ (Jude 22).  Those to whom Jude was referring doubted, not because they stubbornly refused to believe, but because false-teachers had infiltrated the church and upset their faith.   There is doubt that deserves a rebuke and doubt that needs gentle pastoral support.  Similarly, there is anxiety that deserves a rebuke and anxiety that needs gentle pastoral support.

Sinful anxiety is rooted in a failure to trust God or in the fact that we have made peripheral things too important in our lives.  David Powlison observes that, ‘if what you most value can be taken away or destroyed, then you have set yourself up for anxiety.’  However, not all anxiety is condemned in Scripture.  For example, the apostle Paul experienced the anxiety related to caring for the health of Christian churches (2 Cor. 11:28).  In many of the psalms, God gives us words to express our anxiety.  I am always struck by the depth of pain that is expressed in Psalm 88.  The psalmist ends that psalms with the claim that darkness is his closest friend (Psalm 88:18).  This is a psalm that Jesus would have prayed, and at times he could relate to that despair.

When our anxiety has roots in a distorted view of God, we need to be gently instructed in the truth of his gentleness and grace.  We are told to cast our anxieties on the Lord, because he cares for us (1 Peter 5:7), but some people need help in coming to understand that he really does care for them.  The person with an anxiety disorder may not even by fully aware as to why they are so anxious.  Their worries may have more to do with do with imbalances in brain chemistry than the actual issues they are focusing on.  It would simply be too harsh to tell them just to stop worrying.

4.  Is it okay to take anti-depressants?

John Piper was asked the following question from a listener: ‘What do you think of Christians taking anti-depressants—I have been on them, and have been accused on not relying on God?’  In his answer, Piper takes a drink from a bottle of water and then asks, ‘was that sip a failure to rely on God?’  After all, God could simply keep his throat miraculously moist!  Piper’s point is that God has given certain means to provide for our physical well-being, and these are to be taken with thanksgiving.  Piper then explains that he has reached the conclusion that there are profoundly physical dimensions to some of our mental conditions.  Since that is the case physical means can be us to help people out of their depression—just as medications are gratefully received in the treatment of many other illnesses.  In his book, ‘Healing and the Scriptures’, Martyn Lloyd Jones, the doctor and preacher, claims that it ‘is no more sinful to take drugs to put right the chemistry of the brain, than it is to substitute for the abnormal chemistry of the pancreas in a diabetic case by the use of insulin.  If it is right to use insulin in replacement therapy for the pancreas, why is it wrong to take tablets which influence for good the chemistry of the brain?’

Medications have their limitations.  For some they may be temporary measure to help them restore their equilibrium.  Others may need to take medication for the rest of their lives.  However, tablets won’t take away the scars caused by painful memories.  If lifestyle issues are contributing to your depression and anxiety, then don’t let the relief of medication stop you from addressing the core issues.  If your conscience has good reason to be troubled, then a tablet won’t give you lasting peace. 
5.  How can we deal with our depression?

During an episode of depression, I thought of the advice I had previously given and felt that it was inadequate.  I revised what I had been teaching.  I am aware that what will be helpful may change from person to person and may change with regards to where they are in working through their pain.  The following are twelve tips that might help.

Hope

That time of depression and anxiety was different than anything I had suffered before.  As a result, I feared that it might not lift.  The psychiatrist I saw at that time did not share this worry.  She said that it would lift, and it did.  The fact is that the lowest part of depression does lift.  You need to remind yourself that this too will pass.  I was struck at how important a sense of hope is.  I would urge you to do everything not to give up your hope and remind yourself that you have not always been in these depths and will not always be in these depths.

Rest

Rest is a part of God’s design for his people.  I tend to be tempted to feel guilty for talking time off.  I remember when I was first married Caroline told me that I was working too hard.  I wanted to reply to this observation by saying, ‘thanks!’  I did not realise that it is actually disobedient to God not to refresh oneself through rest.

Meditate on the story of Martha and Mary, and hear Jesus inviting you to take some time aside.  Make as many changes in your lifestyle as you can to ensure that you can cope.  Learn to say ‘no’ without feeling guilty.  A friend pointed out that we are to work from a place of rest rather than rest from a place of work.  Make sure that you get enough sleep.  If you are struggling to sleep at night you will need a rest during the day (however, it can be unhelpful to stay in bed when you are not resting and just worrying).

The apostle Paul told his young disciple Timothy that bodily training is of some value (1 Tim. 4:8).  We must not ignore the connection between the body and the soul.  This can be a good form of rest and refreshment.  John Piper copes with his proneness towards a low mood through regular exercise.

Talk

When a neurologist, Elijah Chiala, was doing a question and answer session with us at our evening service he reminded us of the need to talk.  Talk to your loved ones and tell them how you feel.  Talk to your pastor and people in church.   Seek help and support.  It is really important that you feel free to talk to your doctor.

Being open about your depression will have a number of benefits.  One of them is it will help deal with the stigma.  I tend to be an open person, but I still don’t always feel comfortable saying that I have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.  I don’t want to appear odd, and mental illnesses can come with unhelpful stereo-types (just think of some of the OCD portrayals in the movies).  But we all want to be accepted as we really are.  Your openness will also help other people who may be struggling with similar thing.

Some people’s cultural background makes this openness more difficult.  When I spoke in our evening service about mental health, I followed the talk by questions and answers.  Two young men from different countries of origin claimed that in their culture people don’t get depressed.  I have heard depression being referred to as a white-man’s illness or a western illness.  I would suggest that in cultures where there is a greater stigma around mental health, there are many more people suffering their own isolated inner turmoil than is noticed by their society.   The stigma around mental health in such cultures only adds to the pain of those who suffer.

There will be people who stigmatise mental illness.  Try not to let their ignorance hurt you.  I had one person tell me that he thought it was a mistake that I told the church that I had had a breakdown.  They thought that if I had simply explained that I was sick then people might have concluded that I was suffering from the flu!  Clearly this person sees mental illness as something to be ashamed of.  Don’t let such attitudes stop you from experiencing the support that comes through being open about the nature of your suffering.

However, there is another danger for those of us who have issues with our mental health.  We must be careful not simply to see ourselves as victims.  Our pain must not become our identity.  You are much more than your illness.  Your role as a son or daughter, brother or sister, parent and friend, and most importantly as a child of God is so much more important to your identity than and struggle you may be going through.

Pray

I used to tell people to pray the Psalms.  Yet when I was in the pits I could not pray with much focus.  I tended to go around and around in circles asking God to make me better.  I actually started typing out my prayers to give them more focus.  Journaling may also help you work through your thoughts. 

One of the important things to learn is not to feel guilty about how hard you are finding it to pray.  Your Heavenly Father understands.  He is kind and gracious to you.  Jesus taught us that he did not want to add heavy burdens to his beloved people.  Set realistic and helpful prayer goals.  Target just a few minutes of prayer a day.  Don’t beat yourself up over the fact that you can’t focus.  Don’t blame yourself for the fact that God seems absent.  He is not absent, even though your feelings tell you he is.  The fact that your feelings make him seem absent is not your fault.

I do think that the Psalms are a great resource for the depressed Christian.  Read them and you will be surprised at how honest the writers are with their complaints.  You may not have the energy to spend much time in them when you are in the pits but see them as an invitation to get real with God.  I recommend Tim Keller’s meditations of the Psalms entitled, ‘My Rock and Refuge.’  

Deal with feelings of guilt 

I did say that there can be a relationship between guilt and sin.  However, I have found that many people who struggle with sin are too quick to assume that they are being punished by God.  God is our gracious heavenly Father.  He is slow to anger and abounding in love.  He does not treat us as our sins deserve, but according to his loving-kindness.  If there are things that you need to confess to God and repent of then do so.  Then thank God for the fact that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ and that he delights to forgive.  God wants you to rejoice in his forgiveness.  It does not honour him to hold on to feelings of guilt over past sin.  I asked a depressed friend if he realised God sings over him (Zephaniah 3:17).  He replied by saying that seemed too good to be true.  But it is true!

Avoid sinful responses to depression and anxiety.  Your relationship with food will change.  I struggle to eat when I am anxious, but others are tempted to comfort eat (I am prone to do this when I am not ill).  You might be tempted to escape into a world of sexual fantasy.  When I am mildly depressed, I am prone to enjoy self-pity (I try not to listen to soppy eights music at such times).  Such attempts to find comfort will only leaving you feeling worse.

Have faith

Do you remember the ad that the British Humanist Association placed on the side of buses in England?  It read, ‘There’s probably no God.  Now stop worrying and enjoy your life.’   Actually, people tend to enjoy life more with God rather than without him.  Professor Andrew Simms, former President of the Royal College of Psychiatrists, comments that: ‘The advantageous effect of religious belief and spirituality on mental and physical health is one of the best-kept secrets in psychiatry and medicine generally.’

Compare the Christian gospel with society’s teaching on self-esteem and ask yourself, ‘which has more potential to help the depressed person?’

Society tells us to seek our value by searching for the hero inside ourselves.  The problem is when I examine my life, I see many things that could make me feel ashamed.  I don’t often see a hero inside myself.  In fact, I often see a villain.  If my happiness is built on the existence of my inner hero, then I am going to struggle within.  Self-esteem is a poor foundation to build our sense of worth upon.

The gospel tells me a much better story.  It says that I am a flawed and rebellious person who is loved by a kind and forgiving creator.  This creator has given each of us intrinsic worth, making us in his image.  This God cares for us so much that he sent his Son to die for our guilt.  This God treats me, not as I deserve, but according to his loving-kindness!  Now I can examine my life, see things I wish were not there and be secure in the fact that my relationship with him is not about earning his favour but living in the light of his undeserved, unmerited and unearned grace.  In fact, because of his grace in my life, I can delight in the fact that he is in the process of changing me and transforming into the likeness of Jesus.

However, I need to be balanced here.  When people grow up with a distortion of Christianity that can result in emotional and mental suffering.  A friend told me that he grew up with a mother who seemed to want to frighten him into wanting to follow Jesus.  What was also damaging was the fact that this parent actually lived in a way that did not reflect the inner change that life in Jesus should bring.  This obviously had many negative effects on him.

Grow in your confidence in the character of God.  

One of the cruel things about depression and anxiety are that when we are depressed is that we are vulnerable to believing lies.  We must combat these lies with the truth.  What many sensitive people need is to realise that God is a loving-Father who always seeks the good of his children.  Martin Luther struggled with depression even after he had come to understand the gracious nature of the gospel.  He said that his depression always centred on two questions: 'Is God good?'  and 'Is God good to me?'  Ed Welch writes, ‘Just think what it would be like to be certain that the God of this universe loved you.  That alone would probably change the contours of depression.’

One of the ways that God shows his love is through his people.  Look to Christians who reflect the gracious character of God.  If you focus on Christians who are harsh and unloving, especially Christian leaders who are not merciful, then your image of God may become distorted.  Look to people who know God and reflect God well to you.  Remember that it is God who makes them the way they are.  

I had a family friend who had a book dedicated to him.  The author talked of the pastor of my teenage years who ‘influenced me in the beauty of godliness.’  George was both gentle and godly, and he helped you believe God was too.  Such people are good for your mental health.   

Put your faith into practice 

It is always important for us to put our faith into practice.  You may not be able to do this when you are very depressed however there is healing power in doing things for others for the glory of God.  Listen to the healing words of Isaiah (58:10): ‘… and if you spend yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the noonday.’

Guard your thoughts

The reformer, Martin Luther, said that you cannot stop a bird landing on your head, but you can stop it making a nest.  He was saying this regarding our thoughts.  I find that when I am struggling with anxiety my thoughts gravitate towards the worst possible scenario.  It can be very difficult to control your thoughts, and to stop catastrophic thinking making a nest in your mind, but it is important to try and guard your thoughts.

A friend of mine gave me the wise advice of writing down things that I am thankful to God for.  Thanksgiving is a good way to help your mood.

I have noticed that many depressed people struggle with an extreme and exaggerated sense of responsibility.  Allow God to be God and trust him to look after your life and the life of others. 

Work on your self-worth

David Murray points out that deep rooted self-doubt and self-criticism will often emerge will often emerge and strengthen during a depression.  Depressed people often feel worthless and useless.  But some Christians are reluctant to give people any praise or encouragement because of the risk of making a person proud.  However, Murray points out that pride is one of the least risky vices for the person who is depressed.   Pride results from having an over-inflated view of one-self.  Depression usually involves the opposite.  Without minimising the wickedness of the human heart and our inability to please God apart from Christ, ‘we should feel free to encourage depressed people to have a more view of themselves by highlighting their God-given gifts, their contribution to the lives of other, their usefulness to society, and, if they are Christians, their value to the church.’     

Deal with issues in your past

There are wounds that we carry from the past.  We may have developed wrong ‘core beliefs’ about ourselves from our upbringing.  There may be hurtful things said to us, or traumatic incidents that need to be worked through.  Start by opening up to a trusted and wise friend.  But don’t be too proud to seek the help of someone who has more expert care.

Try to remember that God is in control

One quote that was particularly helpful to me at that struggle with anxiety.  It was from the slave-trader turned hymn-writer, John Newton.  He said, 'everything is needful that He sends; nothing can be needful that he withholds.'  The fact that God is in control leaves us with difficult questions.  Why would God allow us pass through such pain?  I had no idea.  But I would rather be in the hands of a mysterious God who is love, than be at the mercy of blind chaos.   

It may be that God will use your struggles to help others.  When I was in a dark place, a friend at a small group blurted out, 'Paul, I am so glad that you struggle with depression.'  She did not mean to be insensitive.  In fact, I knew what she meant.  She felt that she could relate her own brokenness to me because I too struggled. 

Conclusion: The fellowship of suffering

Maybe we are too one-dimensional with regards to what a truly spiritual person looks like.  Maybe we have failed to understand what the joy of the Lord looks like.  If we think that Christians are only Christlike when they are walking around with a serene smile on their faces, then we have not read the gospels with a lot of depth.  The lives of many godly Christians, the experiences of the psalmists, the suffering of our Saviour and the teaching of Scripture all show that one of the ways that we honour God is actually in holding on to him for dear life in the midst of inner turmoil and pain.

Remember that depression and anxiety has a variety of causes, often at work in any one person, and therefore needs a variety of cures.  I have been helped in my struggles with depression and anxiety by medication, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, time off work, Christians who reflected the grace of God and a supportive family.  I would have to say, that through all my anxieties God is at work humbling me, helping me to lean on him more, causing me to seek to understand him more and giving me a little bit more empathy for others.

So let's close with some wise words from Bible commentator, J. B. Phillips.  He wrote in a letter: ‘These periods of spiritual dryness which every saint has known are the very times when your need of God is greatest.  To worship him may or may not bring back the lost ‘feeling’, but your contact with God in prayer and praise will strengthen you spiritually whether you feel it or not … Times of spiritual apathy are the very times when we can do most to prove our love for God, and I have no doubt we bring most joy to his heart when we defy our feelings and act in spite of them.’