Monday, 2 July 2012

Acts of service

'Acts of service' is Caroline's primary love language so I thought that I had better pay attention as I read this chapter of Chapman's book.  Chapman emphasises the difference between requests and demands.  'Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.'  It is very important that neither spouse feels taken for granted or pushed about.  He also suggests finding out those things that you could do for your spouse that would show them that you love them. 

... what we do before marriage is no indication of what we will do after marriage.  Before marriage we are carried along by the force of the in-love obsession.  After marriage, we revert to being the people we were before we "fell in love."
'My spouse's criticisms about my behaviour provide me with the clearest clue to he primary love language. People trend to criticise their spouse most loudly in the area where they themselves have the deepest emotional need.  Their criticism is an ineffective way of pleading for love.'

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