Fair Play (Part 2)

My apologies to Nick for insulting his precious 'football' with the label 'Rugbolgy'. Although I have my worries about the elitist social demographics of rugby (Northern Crammer School Prods, Posh Private School Dubs, with Limerick seeming to be the only place in Ireland where the game is played demographically) I still much prefer it to soccer (that may in part be because I was always selected last for football, and was okay at rugby for a few years).

Anyway in my last post I sighted Paulo De Canio as an example of fair play. This link shows that his behaviour was not always great: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9TFVuHrwgyY&feature=related

Here is an example of fair play: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i26S430NcZE&feature=related (Does anyone know what it was all about? Love the way he pronounces Leicester).

Sorry Nick I am putting this under 'Rugbology'!

PS: Thanks Daley Straggles and Mr.Spence for your book suggestions. I plan to use one in our small groups and give the other to a friend.

Fair Play!

I was watching the Republic verses France on Wednesday night. Obviously I was outraged by the 'hand of Henry.' In the context of that foul play I thought I would post this example of fair play. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EWdf5ZLbtYo

Also Mr. Spence suggested a book that would be helpful in sharing faith. I have forgotten which J.John book it was. If anyone has good recommendations on books to give a friend I would appreciate your advice.

I have labelled this post under 'rugbology' even though this is soccer not rugby.

Unwarranted Guilt

There is a difference between feeling guilty and being guilty. People may suffer from a sense of guilt that is unwarranted. As Tony Ward (not the rugby player) points out:

When our consciences are oversensitive, or inaccurate, then we can end up emotionally whipping ourselves with false guilt. The cause is usually that our consciences have been overly conditioned by our parents, our society or the type of education we received. Legalistic homes and churches which put an undue emphasis on rules and regulations, dos and don'ts, tend to breed people with hypersensitive consciences and resultant emotional damage.

A person whose parents were quick to condemn other Christians who consumed alcohol may feel guilty when having a drink, even though their firm conviction may be that Christians are free to consume alcohol in moderation. A son or daughter who had a parent that regularly claimed they did not care for them could later feel guilty having that parent admitted to a nursing home, even though they are acting on best advice. A child runs onto a road chasing a ball, the driver who hits them feels guilty even though the police said it was not their fault. A teenager fears that they are somehow to blame for their parents' divorce, even though the parents had been fighting for years. A member of a disapproving church feels guilty partaking in innocent hobbies they enjoy.

How do we help people suffering from unwarranted feelings of guilt?

Firstly, by being patient. It might take a person a long time to unlearn years of disapproving parenting. If they have a distorted view of God it may be a struggle for them to accept true beliefs about his character. If the consequences of an action were serious they may find it difficult to let go and move on. While they may agree that their guilt is unwarranted it may take time for their feelings to catch up with the facts. They might make progress in letting go of unwarranted feelings of guilt and yet may relapse at times.

Secondly, we need to be willing to listen well. They may actually know that their sense of guilt is unwarranted. As they talk through the issues, with someone who shows them understanding, they will be assured and grow in confidence.

Thirdly, we need to help them in trying to separate emotions. For example they may need to learn to distinguish between sorrow and guilt. While it may be right for them to work through some emotions false guilt serves no good purpose.

Fourthly, we may need to allow them to confess. While we may be sure that their sense of guilt is unwarranted they may remain unconvinced. In such situations we can encourage them to bring their feelings of guilt to God and remind them that God readily forgives his people.

Ministers and booze!

Last year at Junior Ministers' Conference it was decided that we should bring memorials to Methodist Conference. Of course JMC has no formal channel to do this. So it was decided that we could have conversations as JMC and bring items to the memorials committee through individuals on JMC.

I brought up the issue of alcohol. The rule is that ministers in training and probationer ministers are to abstain from alcohol. I feel that this is inconsistent rule given that the rest of us can drink in moderation, if we should so choose. The idea that someone in their forties who candidates for the ministry would not be allowed to have a glass of wine with their Sunday lunch seems extreme to me.

The majority of those who spoke in this discussion, at JMC, expressed agreement with my point, although one person did voice their concern given the tragic effect alcohol has had on one of their loved ones. It was agreed that we would appreciate whatever guidance the church had on the dangers of addictions in general.

Anyway a submission will be made to the memorials committee in my name (seconded by Stephen Sheerin). Myself and the rest of the JMC committee will have to think of the correct wording. I realise that some feel very strongly in favour of total abstinence and I do not in any way look forward to the fact that some friends will be frustrated with me over this.

Opinions or advice will be welcomed as we plot the way forward on this one!

Keeping our distance

Close contact with people involves an uncomfortable exposure of ourselves to them. It is much easier, in both fellowship and witness, to keep our distance. We are more likely to win the admiration of other people if we do. It is only at close quarters that idols are seen to have feet of clay. Are we willing to let people come close enough to us to find out what we are really are? True witness, born of friendship, requires a great degree of holiness in us as well as love. The nearer we get to people the harder it is to speak for Christ. Is not this the reason why the hardest people of all to whom to witness are members of our own family? They know us too well.

John Stott.

This is it!

Saw Micheal Jackson's 'This is it' on yesterday. It was okay. It centres on his rehearsals for the tour that had been planned at the O2. You actually learned very little about Jackson during the film. Clearly he was very talented. The gigs look like they would have been spectacular. He was surrounded by people who were very keen to affirm him. Jackson did talk of his desire to help save the planet from ecological disaster. He emphasised the need for people to do their bit. Unfortunately a-list celebrities are not in a good place to set an example on this given that their carbon footprint dwarfs that of the rest of us.

Maybe we shouldn't take your offering!

I remember being a part of a church where someone raised the issue of whether names should be published in the annual financial report. Why not publish the figures anonymously? The answer that some people gave was that if we did this people would give less. Are they giving to be seen to give? God's ironic words of rebuke in Amos come to mind: Bring your sacrifices every morning ... brag about your freewill offerings - boast about them ... for this is what you love to do (Amos 4:4-5). God is not honoured when we publish the names beside people's giving for fear that they would give less if we didn't.

Recently I heard of another scandalous attitude towards giving. I have heard of two churches where people have withdrawn/withdrew their offerings out of protest. It was not because there was some gross heresy in the church or because God had told them to do this, they just didn't like something. All I can say is 'shame on them!'

Don't they know that it is a privilege to give? Don't they know that having Jesus as our king means that we are accountable to him how we use our cash? I would want to say to some people: 'we don't want your offering,' 'we will not accept your giving if you think that you can withdraw when you want to protest (that's just an attempt at bribery)' and 'if you are given to be seen to give you need to realise how displeased God is with you offering.'