When I was
in my late teens and early twenties I started struggling a little bit with
anxiety. That anxiety became especially
severe one summer, and persisted to various degrees over the following
years. At times that anxiety turned into
bouts of depression.
The nature
of my anxieties changed slightly in my thirties, as I began to struggle to keep
certain thoughts out of my mind. When I
found out that my grandmother had suffered severe mental health issues, I began
to wonder if my anxiety had a medical root.
So, at a
time when my thoughts seemed unmanageable, I went to the doctor. In God’s kindness there happened to be both a
couple of General Practitioners and a Psychiatrist in the church where I was
working. Rosie could see that I was
struggling, gave me some tablets and arranged for Stephen, the psychiatrist, to
visit me that night.
Stephen
heard what I was saying and immediately diagnosed the problem. He described my thoughts as being ridiculous,
resistant, repetitive and repulsive to me.
He said that I was suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. He told me to take two months off work,
prescribed some special tablets and recommended that I take a course in
Cognitive Behaviour Therapy.
My Obsessive
Compulsive Disorder is much better than it used to be. The Cognitive Behaviour Therapy taught me how
to understand my thoughts, and I still take tablets every day.
We are going
to look at the issue and depression and anxiety, from a Christian viewpoint, by
answering a number of questions.
1. What causes depression?
Ed Welch
writes, ‘Depression is a form of suffering that can’t be reduced to one
universal cause. Many factors may cause
depression, and often more than one of these factors is at work in the
depressed person.’
Depression
can be the result of other people. People
hurt us in a variety of ways. Many
victims of abuse struggle with mental health issues in later life. Many people carry the wounds caused by an
unloving parent, a harsh teacher or a school bully.
Depression
is the result of living in a fallen world.
The book of Genesis teaches that, because of human rebellion, God has
subject humankind to decay and death. Our
bodies ache and deteriorate, and we are prone to physical and mental illness.
Sometimes we
are the cause of our depression. For
example, anger is a notorious cause of depression. We can’t expect a joyous life if we are
critical, bitter and unforgiving.
False beliefs
can be a factor. If you think you are of
no value, you will be prone to feeling depressed. If you believe that God does not love you,
you will suffer from morbid fears.
Satan is a
factor in depression. Not in a wacky
sense, but in the fact that he will remind you of past guilt, tempt you towards
bitterness and seek to implant in you doubts about the goodness of God.
In Psalm 32,
David links a time of depression to God’s discipline. He refused to face up to his sin, after his
adultery with Bathsheba. So God’s hand
was heavy upon him until he acknowledged his guilt. Never assume that someone’s depression is
God’s discipline, but always examine your heart to see if God might be drawing
attention to issues he wants to deal with you.
Finally, there
is a sense in which God stands behind all our depression. After all God rules over all that takes place
in the universe. Enemies may wound us
but God could shut their mouths.
Similarly, our brain chemistry is not beyond his control.
2. Is it unspiritual to be depressed?
Is it
unspiritual to be depressed, after all the fruit of the Holy Spirit includes
joy?
The first
response to this question is to point out that there are many godly people who
have passed through times of immense sorrow.
The great Baptist preacher, Charles Spurgeon, struggled with depression
throughout his life. What seems to have
ignited this was a specific tragedy.
Spurgeon was
preaching to a huge congregation—of over twelve thousand people, at the Exeter
Hall in London—when someone yelled, “Fire!”
In the chaos that ensured seven people were killed, and Spurgeon was
inconsolable. Other factors contributed
to his depressions, including his struggles with gout and his concern for those
he pastored.
He exclaimed
that there are dungeons beneath the Castle of Despair, and that he had often
been in them. ‘I could weep by the hour
like a child, and yet I knew not what I wept for,’ he recounted on one
occasion.
In the book
of Psalms, we often hear the psalmists crying out to God in despair. ‘All night long I flood my bed with weeping
and drench my couch with tears.’ These laments are given to us by God, in part,
to help us express our pain.
We must also
remember that Jesus was a man of sorrows familiar with grief. Spurgeon wrote, ‘No sin is necessarily
connected with sorrow of the heart, for Jesus Christ our Lord once said, “My
soul is exceedingly sorrowful, even to death.”
There was no sin in Him, and consequently none in his depression.’
However, I
must give you one warning: in your depression do not sin! Depression does present us with particular
temptations. Most obviously, depression
tempts us towards self-pity. Indeed,
some people try to find comfort in wrong ways like over-eating, overwork and
alcohol abuse.
But, what about
the fact that one aspect of the fruit of the Spirit is joy? Am I less spiritual when I am depressed? I put this question to a friend of mine, who
is a lecturer in a leading evangelical theological college. He replied, ‘I guess joy is not simply an emotion. And so someone with depression can still
(though it would be harder) rejoice – have confidence in the Lord.’ He then says that Psalm 31:7-9 might be worth
looking at:
‘I will be
glad and rejoice in your love, for you saw my affliction and knew the anguish
of my soul … Be merciful to me Lord, for
I am in distress; my eyes grow week with sorrow, my soul and body with
grief.’ Here we seem to see an example
of being sorrowful, yet always rejoicing (2 Cor. 6:10).
Ed Welch
writes, ‘Joy is not the opposite of depression.
It is deeper than depression.
Therefore, you can experience both.’
Joan
Singleton lectures in pastoral care in the Irish Bible Institute. At one
stage, when she was depressed, she wondered if her depression inhibited her
witness as a Christian. Then she
realised the powerful testimony in the fact that she was still hanging on to God
and believing his truth, even though her life was filled with pain.
3. What about anxiety, isn’t it wrong to worry?
I am not
disputing that worry can be a real sin, but I think that anxiety can have many
roots, some of which are not sinful.
I see a
parallel between anxiety and doubt. On
certain occasions Jesus rebuked the disciples for their doubt, because it
revealed a stubborn refusal to accept the truth. Yet in the letter of Jude we read that we are
to ‘be merciful to those who doubt.’
Those to whom Jude was referring doubted, not because they stubbornly
refused to believe, but because false teachers had infiltrated the church and
upset their faith. There is doubt that
deserves a rebuke and doubt that needs gentle pastoral support. Similarly, there is anxiety that deserves a
rebuke and anxiety that needs gentle pastoral support.
Sinful
anxiety is rooted in a failure to trust God or in the fact that we have made
peripheral things too important in our lives.
David Powlison observes that, ‘if what you most value can be taken away
or destroyed, then you have set yourself up for anxiety.’ However, not all anxiety is condemned in
Scripture. For example, the apostle Paul
experienced the anxiety related to caring for the health of Christian churches
(2 Cor. 11:28). In many of the psalms,
God gives us words to express our anxiety.
When our
anxiety has roots in a distorted view of God, we need to be gently instructed
in the truth of his gentleness and grace.
We are told to cast our anxieties on the Lord, because he cares for us
(1 Peter 5:7), but some people need help in coming to understand that he really
does care for them. The person with an
anxiety disorder may not even by fully aware as to why they are so
anxious. Their worries may have more to
do with do with imbalances in brain chemistry than the actual issues they are
focusing on. It would simply be too
harsh to tell them just to stop worrying.
4. Is it okay to take anti-depressants?
John Piper
was asked the following question from a listener: ‘What do you think of Christians taking
anti-depressants—I have been on them, and have been accused on not relying on
God?’
In his
answer, Piper takes a drink from a bottle of water and then asks, ‘was that sip
a failure to rely on God?’ After all,
God could simply keep his throat miraculously moist! Piper’s point is that God has given certain
means to provide for our physical well-being, and these are to be taken with
thanksgiving.
He then
explains that he has reached the conclusion that there are profoundly physical
dimensions to our mental conditions.
Since that is the case physical means can be us to help people out of
their depression—just as medications are gratefully received in the treatment
of many other illnesses.
5. How can we deal with our depression?
a. Have faith in Christ
a. Have faith in Christ
Do you
remember the ad that the British Humanist Association placed on the side of
buses in England—‘There’s probably no God.
Now stop worrying and enjoy your life’?
Actually, people tend to enjoy life more with God rather than without
him.
Professor
Andrew Simms, former President of the Royal College of Psychiatrists, comments
that: ‘The advantageous effect of
religious belief and spirituality on mental and physical health is one of the
best-kept secrets in psychiatry and medicine generally.
Compare the
Christian gospel with society’s teaching on self-esteem and ask yourself,
‘which has more potential to help the depressed person?’
Society
tells us to seek our value by searching for the hero inside ourselves. The problem is, when I examine my life I see
many things that could make me feel ashamed.
Self-esteem is a poor foundation to build our sense of worth upon.
The gospel
tells me that I am a flawed and rebellious person who is loved by a kind and
forgiving creator. This creator has
given each of us intrinsic worth, making us in his image. This God cares for us so much that he sent his
Son to die for our guilt. This God treats
me, not as I deserve, but according to his loving-kindness! Now I can examine my life, see things I wish
were not there and be secure in the fact that my relationship with him is not
about earning his favour but living in the light of his undeserved, unmerited
and unearned grace. In fact, because of
his grace in my life, I can delight in the fact that he is in the process of
changing me and transforming into the likeness of Jesus.
b. Grow in your confidence in the
character of God
One of the
cruel things about depression is that when we are depressed we are vulnerable
to believing lies. We must combat these
lies with the truth. What many sensitive
people need is to realise that God is a loving-father who always seeks the good
of his children. Ed Welch writes, ‘Just
think what it would be like to be certain that the God of this universe loved
you. That alone would probably change
the contours of depression.’
c. Examine yourself
We mentioned
the importance of seeking to deal with any known sin. We need to ask the Lord honestly to search
our hearts (Psalm 139:23-24). But never
forget that God is compassionate and gracious.
Even when he disciplines us, he does so as a loving Father who has our
best interests at heart (Hebrews 12:6).
d. Look after your body
The apostle
Paul told his young disciple Timothy that bodily training is of some value (1
Tim. 4:8). We must not ignore the
connection between the body and the soul.
John Piper copes with his proneness towards a low mood through regular
exercise.
e. Pray the Psalms
A great
source of comfort can come from the psalms.
In the psalms we see every sort of human emotion, including
depression. You may be only to identify
with the sorrow in them at the beginning—but take comfort, for these are
spiritual people whose sorrow matters enough to God that he records them in his
word. Hopefully, after time, as you cry
out to God you will experience the progress towards confidence that occurs in
many of the psalms.
f. Put
your faith into practice
It is always
important for us to put our faith into practice. You may need times of rest, but be careful
that this does not slip into inertia.
Indeed, there is healing power in doing things for others for the glory
of God. Listen to the healing words of
Isaiah (58:10): ‘… and if you spend
yourselves in behalf of the hungry and satisfy the needs of the oppressed, then
your light will rise in the darkness, and your night will become like the
noonday.’
g. Talk
When Doctor Elijah Chila was doing a question and answer session with us at Café Church he reminded us of the need to talk. I always encourage depressed people to talk to a doctor. We also need to be able to talk about our feelings to family and friends. Find gracious and loving people that you can share your burdens with.
When Doctor Elijah Chila was doing a question and answer session with us at Café Church he reminded us of the need to talk. I always encourage depressed people to talk to a doctor. We also need to be able to talk about our feelings to family and friends. Find gracious and loving people that you can share your burdens with.
6. What about those living with someone who has depression?
The book, ‘Dealing with Depression’, by Sarah Collins and Jayne Haynes, includes the story of Andy, a pastor whose wife suffers from depression. He says that the following things have been
helpful for him.
Be real
about what is happening. There will be a
sense of loss. Your spouse may become
withdrawn, and so you receive less warmth in your life. They may have less energy and be less
fun. You may need to take on board extra
responsibilities at home. Andy says that
it can be lonely living with a depressed person. The relationship may feel emotionally
one-sided.
But, he
warns, resist the temptation of simply trying to fix your spouse’s
problems. It is more important to be
genuine in your sympathy and listening.
Andy says
that you have to ensure that you look after yourself and don’t get burned
out. Exercise, take breaks, do fun
things (and don’t feel guilt about having some fun just because they can’t
share your mood).
Find someone
that you can share your feelings with, but be careful not to look for too much
care from someone of the opposite sex (in case you develop an emotionally
inappropriate relationship).
Above all,
Andy says, seek God in your situation.
‘A loss in any area of your life opens a door for more of him. More direct reliance on him … It is hard to
read this, I know, but it really is a chance to know Jesus better.’
7. How can the church help those with depression?
a.. Be there
a.. Be there
According to
psychologist, Deborah Serani, “when I was struggling with my own depression,
the most healing moments came when someone I loved simply sat with me while I
cried, or wordlessly held my hand, or spoke warmly to me.’
b. Remember
that small gestures help
Maybe you
uncomfortable about the fact that you don’t know what to say, you can support
in other ways. You can write a card,
cook a meal, send a text or offer other forms of practical support.
c. Don’t just
fire verses at them
Many years
ago a friend of mine suffered a breakdown. One of the things that upset her, during this
difficult time, was people who would fire Bible verses at her. She knew that ‘God works all things for the
good of those who love him.’ But it was
unhelpful when people, who hadn’t the love to listen and engage with how she
really felt, pawned her off with a verse.
Brian Borgman writes, ‘it is a dangerous physician who throws a few
Bible verses at those who are depressed and tells them just to have faith.’
d. Don’t say ‘I
know how you feel'
Similarly,
in the last church I worked in, a person came to me and shared how painful they
found it when someone belittled their suffering with the words, ‘I know how you
feel.’ She doubted that they did not
know she felt. Even if you have also
suffered from depression, you cannot really know how their depression is
affecting them, unless you take the time to listen and find out. We actually banned our pastoral team from
using the phrase ‘I know how you feel.’
e. Don’t tell
them to ‘snap out of it'
Someone with
depression shared with me their frustration with people telling them to ‘snap
out of it’. If only they could, they
would love to!
f. Model the
kindness of God
Depressed
people need to know that God is good and kind.
People draw many conclusions about God’s nature from watching those who
claim to know him. Someone paid tribute
to a man I used to know saying, ‘he influenced me in the beauty of
godliness.’ People saw God in his life
and what they saw showed that God was good, loving and kind.
g. Create
communities of grace
If churches
are to be helpful towards those who are depressed then they need to be
communities that are infused with grace.
It is a tragedy when people are fearful about being vulnerable because
of what critics and gossips will say. It
is an outright denial of the gospel when you think that you always have to
pretend you are strong.
h. Be a genuine
friend
The proverbs
teach, ‘a friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of
adversity’ (17:17). That friendship is
best shown in listening carefully and being there in bad times as well as
good. A good friend will challenge the
depressed person about some of their false beliefs about God and self.
Conclusion:
The fellowship of suffering
Before I
finish, I want to remind you that depression has a variety of causes, often at
work in any one person, and therefore needs a variety of cures. I have been helped in my struggles with
depression and anxiety by medication, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, time off
work, Christians who reflected the grace of God and a supportive family. I would have to say, that through all my
anxieties God is at work humbling me, helping me to lean on him more, causing
me to seek to understand him more and giving me a little bit more empathy for others.
I want to
finish with some wise words from Bible commentator J. B. Phillips. He wrote in a letter: ‘These
periods of spiritual dryness which every saint has known are the very times
when your need of God is greatest. To
worship him may or may not bring back the lost ‘feeling’, but your contact with
God in prayer and praise will strengthen you spiritually whether you feel it or
not … Times of spiritual apathy are the very times when we can do most to prove
our love for God, and I have no doubt we bring most joy to his heart when we
defy our feelings and act in spite of them.’
4 comments:
Thanks for sharing this Paul, my husband struggles with ocd as well and I can only imagine how hard it was for you to share something so personal. Keep well.
Thanks
Been there done that loved What u wrote. everyone walks a fine between being well and depression God is so amazing especially when u feel so low well done paul keep writing :)
Thanks Karen
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