Monday, 19 March 2012

Friends with benefits

It's time for my next post on Mark Driscoll's book on marriage.

Driscoll opens the second chapter with a few pages on Martin Luther's marriage.  This gripped me as I am fascinated by Luther.  The second chapter is entitled 'Friends with benefits.'

Mark seems to like telling us how much he reads. He says that he and his wife read all, or part, of 187 books on marriage in preparation to write their own.  He says that none of these books had a chapter, or significant part of a chapter, on friendship.  However, Tim Keller's book on marriage, which I am also enjoying, has a lot to say about friendship (and it was released the year before Driscoll's).  Driscoll's statement had the feel of those young pastors who think that no one has managed to do anything properly until they arrived on the scene.

This second chapter is not as gripping as the first.  It centred on the acronym F.R.I.E.N.D.S. (Fruitful, Reciprocal, Intimate, Enjoyable, Needed, Devoted, Needed and Sanctifying).  

Just a couple of quotes:
'No wife likes feeling like a problem to be fixed rather than a person who wants to be intimate.'
'As C. S. Lewis says, "Eros will have naked bodies; Friendship naked personalities."' 
'A spouse who only showers you with praise, never disagrees with you, and avoids conflict at all costs, is an enabling rather than a sanctifying friend.'

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