The problem of the super-spiritual Christian (part 2).

My most popular post on this blog has been that on the super-spiritual Christian.  

To whom it may concern: The problem of the super-spiritual Christian (paulritchieblog.blogspot.com

I don't want to incite judgement against those who we might deem super-spirituals, but I do want to encourage those who have been hurt by them.  I thought I would do a second post on the super-spirituals by asking if you feel safe in church.  You see super-spiritual people are not safe.  they are likely to judge you if you are open with them.  They don't want to talk about their struggles, and you would be better not being weak with them.

So, can you confess your sin to those in your church fellowship?  More importantly, are we being the sort of Christian that people feel safe to confess their sins to?  How safe do you feel in church? 

I am not advocating a church that ignores your sin.  If you are not willing to address sin in your life then you are in deep spiritual danger, and if your church loves you they will seek to do something about that (Matthew 18:15-21 and 1 Corinthians 5:1-2).  they should warn you against taking the Lord's Supper (1 Corinthians 11:27-29) and they won't want to talk to you about everyday issues because they will only want to talk to you about the fact that you are unwilling to deal with the serious sin in your life.  But the aim of church discipline is to restore the unrepentant to repentance and when they repent they are to be welcomed back into the church fellowship with open arms (2 Corinthians 2:5-11).  Indeed, in welcoming them back we are reflecting the heart of our heavenly shepherd (Matthew 18:10-14).  If we make it difficult for that person to be restored to fellowship, if we are half-hearted in our welcome of them and if we keep holding their past sin against them, then we are being 'outwitted by Satan' (2 Corinthians 2:11).  We are going to be used by the evil one to cause that person to give up.  That would be a terrible thing to do!

But such discipline is reserved for those who are living in sin rather than struggling with sin.  By living in sin I mean that they are refusing to struggle with their sin.  For example, they simply refuse to forgive someone or they don't care that their lifestyle is at odds with Christ's commands.  This discipline is not a matter of our personal judgement, but the loving consensus of the whole church (Matthew 18:17).  No Christian has the right to think that they can exercise such discipline simply on their own opinion.  Church discipline should never be based around something that is legitimately debated about among believers. Such discipline is not for those who are genuinely struggling with sin, and we all struggle with sin.  In fact, if you tell me that you do not struggle with sin then I have to question whether you really are a Christian (1 John 1:8).  (I once met a man who claimed some sort of Christian perfection, but I could see things in his life that were not perfect.  I love the story told about Spurgeon when he came across someone claiming Christian perfection: he poured a jug of milk over them and he said that their perfection vanished before his eyes). 

But are our churches safe places to be open about our struggles with sin?  James tells us to confess our sin to one another, such accountability is part of the way that God saves us from these sins (James 5:15).  But if you opened up to people in your church about your sin would you be well received?  Do people treat each other with grace?  (I heard of a youth pastor who admitted to the congregation that he had lusted over a number of the women in the church that morning, I don't think that was very wise, and probably made a number of the women feel a little self-conscious!).

One of the most painful experiences I have had in my ministry in recent years was to have someone twist my words against me.  A man had heard that I admitted that I struggle with repulsive thoughts.  This was not actually a confession with sin.  You see I was at a meeting and I had been asked my battle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.  I explained that those with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder struggle with thoughts that can be described as resistant, repetitive, ridiculous and repulsive.  It was in this context that I explained that I experience intrusive thoughts that I find repulsive.  I actually think that everyone struggles with such thoughts  at times and the OCD is simply a normal pattern of thought where the thoughts have become 'sticky'.  With regards to intrusive thoughts Luther commented that you can't stop a bird landing on your head, but you can stop it making a nest!

Anyway, someone at that meeting went and told someone else that I struggle with such repulsive thoughts.  The person who was told this used this against me to question whether I am really a Christian.  Those people are not safe for me.  I decided to block them both.  One of the saddest things about this is that the person who reported my words is someone I think highly of, and the person who used them against me is someone I barely know.

The point of telling you that story is to sadly admit that not all Christians will be safe to confess to share your sins with, and that is a tragedy.

Indeed, I talked to a pastor friend of mine about the fact that i was going to address the issue of pornography in a sermon.  I believe that there is not a man alive who has not struggled with lust.  I also believe that there are men and women in our churches who feel enslaved to masturbation and porn.  They struggle with these things and they do not know who to go to for help.  We are commanded to confess our sins to each other so that we might be saved of these sins.  But what sort of reception would you get if you opened up about these struggles in your church community?  Would you get the dismissive response of a hypocrite or the encouragement of a fellow struggler (whose struggles may be different than yours, or who may be on a different stage of the journey than you).  Anyway, as I mentioned this issue to my pastor friend he pointed out the sad truth that those in our churches who are feeling enslaved to pornography are likely to seek support in two are three other places before they come to the church looking for help.  In church they fear that they are simply likely to be judged.

The super-spiritual Christian is not going to much good at ministering to you in your weakness, and we are acting like a super-spiritual when we are unwilling to confess our sins to each other.  Again, it all comes down to understanding the gospel of grace.