‘Love is …’ (Song of songs 8:5-14)

  

In the 1960s a young woman, Kim Grove, was engaged to a guy called Robert Casali.  Every day she used to draw little cartoons and slip them into secret places for him to find.  These were later picked up by newspapers all around the world.  Each cartoon began, ‘Love is …’

‘Love is … giving each other pet names.’

‘Love is … making her a queen.’

‘Love is … patching up a quarrel.’

‘Love is … like wine, better as it matures.’

‘Love is … when the passion flows down and friendship speeds up.’

In this last section of the Song of songs we could add that:

‘Love is … affectionate.’

‘Love is … private and public commitment.’

‘Love is … a powerful gift to be used wisely.

Then we will finish this series by pointing out the ‘Love is … Christ-crucified.’

Love is affectionate

I think that many Christians believe that Jesus feels perpetually disappointed with them.  I think many Christians, who say that Jesus loves them, have a hard time believing that he likes them.  But the Psalms teach us something better: ‘the Lord delights in his people, he crowns the humble with victory’ (Psalm 149:4).  He does not regret making you his child.  He is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in love. 

The first picture of love that we see in these verses is affectionate.  The girl’s friends see her and say, ‘who is that coming up from the wilderness, leaning on her beloved?’  ‘Love is … leaning on your beloved.’  A husband and wife support each other.  Friends and family support each other.  Jesus invites us to lean on his everlasting arms.

Love is commitment

A girl goes to her pastor and opens up.  Soon she is in tears when she spoke about how she lost her virginity.  He had told her he loved her.  He had said that it was only a matter of time before they would marry.  She wanted to wait.  He said that if she loved him she would sleep with him.  They had sex.  Then he decided that he was no longer so sure about their love.  It wasn’t long before the relationship drifted apart and she was left with regret.  How often that same story has been played out! 

God’s instructions for sex and marriage are not only centred around his glory but are intended for our good.  He wants this most intimate of human acts to be in a place of security, safety and trust.  The Bible speaks of sex within a publicly-affirmed covenant.

The bride talks of being a seal on his heart and a seal on his arm.  In our culture she would want him to wear a wedding ring with pride and be dedicated to her in his inner-most being.  She wants the world to see that he is unashamed to belong to her and that she is his. 

Of course, the intimacy of marriage and sex points ahead to the greater intimacy of Christ and his people.  He has permanently sealed us in the person of the Holy Spirit.  Our union with him goes even further than ‘till death us do part’.  Our union with him goes forward to a heavenly wedding feast.

If we read these verses simply as a song of human love we may feel disappointment.  Maybe you find singleness lonely.  It might be that you are in a marriage that is cold.  It could be that you have gone through the pain of a marriage that has failed.  Let these verses point you to the greater love of Jesus.  He is the one who can sustain us in whatever situation we find ourselves in.

George Matheson was engaged to be married when his doctors told him that he was going blind.  When his fiancé found out she ended the relationship.  She told him that she could not go through life with a blind person.  On the evening of sister’s wedding he wrote a hymn.  ‘O love that wilt not let me go, I rest my weary soul in thee.  I give you back the life I owe.  That in thine ocean depths its flow may richer, fuller be.’

Love is a powerful gift

In the middle of our reading we get what is that closest this song gives to a definition of love.  ‘… love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave.  Its jealousy unyielding as a flame.  It burns like blazing fire, like a mighty flame [the very flame of the Lord, ESV].  Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.  If one were to give all the wealth of his house for love, it would be utterly scorned’ (8:6-7).

Love is a gift from God.  Love for one another is to be flamed into flame.  Love is to be celebrated in songs and joy.  King David even spoke of a friendship love that he thought was better than the love of a woman.  Love between Christians is to attract other people to Jesus.

But remember that three times this girl has solemnly told her friends not to awaken love until its time.  Love is a fire that can burn.  It is precious but must be treated with care.  People’s lives have been ruined by loving the wrong person.  The book of Proverbs talks of the forbidden woman whose house sinks down to death (2:14-16).  I keep in my mind the story of a pastor who not only ruined his marriage and ministry through an affair, but actually ended his life because of it.

However, when it comes to seeking sexual purity we must remember that it is not law that inspires the heart to change but grace.  Paul writes in Titus, ‘For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people.  It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in the present age’ (Titus 2:11-12).  Similarly, he writes to the church at Rome teaching that, ‘the kindness of God leads to repentance’ (Romans 2:4).  We won’t find sexual purity simply through obeying a set of rules.  We grow in purity as we fall in love with Jesus.  We won’t change by hating ourselves for our past mistakes but leaning into the one who was known as friend of sinners.  We become transformed as we focus our eyes on his kind face and remember that there is no dirt that he can’t clean, no temptation that he is unwilling to deliver us from and no pleasure that compares with walking close to him.

Conclusion

The Song of songs finishes with an invitation: ‘Come away, my lover, and be like a gazelle or like a young stag on spice-laden mountains’ (8:14).  The puritan, Thomas Goodwin, explained that the reason that people do not go to Jesus is that ‘they know not Christ’s mind and heart.’  ‘The truth is, he is more glad of us than we can be of him.’  ‘O therefore come in unto him.  If you knew his heart, you would.’

‘Love is … Christ crucified’.  ‘This is how we know what love is: Christ died for us’ (1 John 3:16).  There is no act of purer love in the whole of history than the Son of God, Jesus, dying for the sins of his people.’  With a promise he invites you saying, ‘I will never turn away anyone who comes to me’ (John 6:37).

Dane Ortland writes, ‘Whatever is crumbling all around you in your life, wherever you feel stuck, this remains: his heart for you, the real you, is gentle and lowly.  So go to him.  That place in your life where you feel most defeated, he is there.  He lives there, right there, and his heart for you, now and forever, is gentle and lowly.  Your anguish is his home.  Go to him.  “If you knew his heart, you would.”’