Monday, 9 July 2012

Further thoughts on love languages

So the five love languages are words of affirmation, quality time, receiving gifts, acts of service and physical touch.  What is your primary love language?  More importantly, if you are married, what is the love language of your spouse?  If you can find that out you could make them very happy!  I want to finish my thoughts on Chapman's book with some of the observations he makes in the closing chapters.
He points out that the male desire to have sex does not necessarily mean that physical touch is his primary love language.  For example, do we enjoy non-sexual touch?  If not then physical touch is not actually our primary love language.
'Most sexual problems in marriage have little to do with physical technique and everything to do with meeting emotional needs.'
Finally, Chapman suggests three ways to help find your love language: 1) Ask, What does your spouse do or fail to do that hurts you most deeply? 2) Ask, What have you most requested of your spouse? 3Ask in what way do you most regularly express love to your spouse.
Why not see what your love language is here.

One last thought:  There are flaws with this book.  For example, the idea is given that you give to your spouse that they might give to you.  Also, there could be the risk that you are simply seeking to impress your spouse by playing to their demands.  Nevertheless, if these languages are used as tools that can be used to express genuine love to your spouse there is much value in them.

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