Matthew runs a little business called ‘Do-Up’. Now could you imagine if Matthew came to me and said, ‘the best thing about baby Mateo is that in a few years’ time he is going to be able to work and as soon as I can I am going to get him to work for the business. Then Amy and I will put up our feet and relax?’ That’s not how parenting works!
Or supposing Amy comes to
me and admits, ‘I am going to push Mateo really hard to succeed. I am going to get him to do every sport, play
every instrument and send him to every study grind possible. Then one day when everyone admires how well
he has done they will see how great a mother I am.’ That too is not how parenting works!
The problem with both
those attitudes is that the child is there to serve the parents’ wants not the
other way around. The apostle Paul sees
himself as a parent to the Corinthians Christians and writes, ‘I seek not what
is yours but you. For children are not
obliged to save up for their parents, but parents for their children’ (14).
What does this say about
our Father in heaven. It reminds us that
we offer Him nothing but our brokenness and sin, and yet He lavishes us with
kindness. He shows the world how good He
is by sending His Son not for people who think they are good but those who know
we are evil.
This morning we are going
to see some of the apostle Paul’s parenting tips.
1.
Teach them the gospel (11-13)
The apostle Paul is most
happy boasting in the Lord and boasting in his weaknesses. Of course, those two types of boasting go
hand-in-hand. God chooses the weak
things of the world to shame those who consider themselves strong. We acknowledge our utter dependence on
Him. If I see anything of the Spirit’s
fruit in you that is a result of God’s grace.
If we are to achieve anything for God’s glory it will be because we
relied on Him for His strength.
But the apostle Paul had
been forced to boast. It embarrassed him
greatly. The ‘super-apostles’ had
boasted about their Jewish pedigree.
Paul was a Jew too. Not that it
mattered! They boasted about how hard
they worked. Paul had worked
harder. He hates to have to say
this. They claimed to have had
miraculous visions. He had a surpassing
revelation. A vision that he had not
even mentioned.
Now Paul mentions the
marks of an apostle. His role as a true
apostle had been confirmed by signs, wonders and miracles. Look at the book of Acts and you will see the
apostles do unique miracles. It is
interesting that He leaves mention of the marks of His apostle to the end of
His defence against the ‘super-apostle’.
It would seem that He doesn’t want to give them prominence. Paul’s great ambition was simply to preach
Christ-crucified. He did not want to be
simply a miracle-worker.
We see this in Jesus’
ministry too. At the beginning of His
public ministry he healed many people in His home base of Capernaum and then
withdrew to spend time alone with the Father.
The disciples come to him and said that everyone was looking Him. They want more miracles. Jesus replies, ‘let us go somewhere else—to
the nearby villages—so I can preach there also.
That is why I have come’ (Mk 1:38).
Despite all his hard work
the apostle Paul admits, ‘I am nothing’ (11).
This is not low self-esteem. This
is a mark of someone who gets the gospel.
We know that we nothing in ourselves.
Yet we also know that we are dearly loved children in Christ.
You see Mateo was born
with a heart problem. All of us
were. King David explains, ‘surely I was
sinful from the time my mother conceived me’ (Psalm 51:5). It won’t be long until it becomes very
obvious how selfish Mateo is. However,
while we were still sinners Christ died for us.
God calls sinful people to himself.
We come to Him offering nothing but our guilt. He delights to have us as His children. He rejoices over His people with singing (I
have no doubt that Matt and Amy have sung over Mateo). Even though we fail Him every day God’s love
for us never weakens. He is pleased with
our imperfect attempts to serve Him. He
will reward you for the smallest things done for Jesus’ name. He sees you and loves you!
2.
Shepherd their heart
The truth is that every
child says unfair things to their parents.
There will be times when Mateo tells you that he hates you and claims
that you do not love him. The apostle
Paul had to endure such pain from these spiritual children in Corinth. He had supported his ministry by working with
his hands making tents. He didn’t want
to be a burden to them. But they claimed
that he was crafty and that he wanted their money.
Paul had organised a
collection for the poor Christians in Jerusalem. He had sent Titus and others to them in
relation to this collection. It seems
that the ‘super-apostles’ were saying that Paul was taking some of that money
for themselves.
A young woman in Galway
became a Christian recently. But her
pastor told me that she is getting some kickback from her parents. Her father is saying that the church is only
interested in her for her money. Nothing
could be further from the truth!
Look at Paul’s
heart. ‘I seek not what is yours but
you’ (14). ‘I will gladly spend and be
spent for your souls’ (16).
There is a book entitled,
‘Shepherding a Child’s Heart.’ One of
the things this book says is that parents should not simply aim at outward
obedience but inward transformation.
This will change how we pray for people.
2 Corinthians keeps telling us that weakness causes us to depend on
Christ. Success can be more damaging to
a young heart than failure. Your world
should not fall apart when they don't get the grades they were hoping for or
make the team. Our prayer should be that
when God gives us good gifts we are filled with thanks fullness, and when God does
not give us what we want we trust Him and grow in dependant maturity.
3.
Celebrate grace
God willing Mateo will
surrender his heart to Jesus at a young age.
But supposing it took a prison sentence to wake Mateo up to his need for
Christ, would you keep loving him and trusting God? You see if Mateo doesn’t love Jesus it won’t
really make a difference whether he is a respectable sinner or an unrespectable
sinner. It will make no difference
whether his heart is ruled by pride and self-righteousness or rebellion and
disorder. In the story of the prodigal
son it wasn’t until the boy was in the pigsty that he came to his senses.
The apostle Paul is
preparing for his third visit to Corinth.
He is worried that when he arrives he will find them to be in a bad
spiritual state. He is worried that
there will be divisions caused by bitterness and jealousy and that they won’t
have disciplined people who have been guilty of sexual sin. The hardest thing as a parent is knowing how
to discipline our children—to know where to set the boundaries and what
punishment to give when those boundaries are broken. But discipline is ultimately rooted in love
and a desire to see the person restored.
The writer to the Hebrews
tells us to ‘endure hardship as discipline; God is treating us as
children. For what children are not
disciplined by their father? … God disciplines us for our good, in order that
we may share in his holiness’ (Hebrews 12:7-10). I try to remember that when life is difficult
that is not a sign of God’s lack of love but His parental love. He is calling us to depend on Him. He wants to produce maturity, compassion and
hope in us.
Conclusion
It could be that Mateo turns out to be no good
at music, although that is unlikely given who his parents are. He mightn’t have a musical bone in his
body. That won’t matter in the
slightest!
It might be that he isn’t the greatest at
school. At lot of us, myself included,
are pretty ordinary at the study. That
shouldn’t matter in the slightest!
We might have many struggles. That doesn’t mean that God has stopped being
kind to us. It could be God’s way of
drawing us to Himself and keeping us dependent of Jesus.
So, teach the gospel, shepherd the heart and
celebrate grace.
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