Yet the Bible highlights the importance of a different type of beauty. The apostle Paul talks about the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit (1 Pet. 3:4). Jesus described himself as gentle and lowly.
The Reverend George Good was known to me as 'uncle George'. He was not actually my uncle but a close family friend. He died many years ago. He had been a Methodist missionary in Sri Lanka for some time and had a profound influence on a teenager called Ajith Fernando. Ajith grew up to become a well known Christian author. In a number of his books Ajith spoke of the influence of uncle George on him. Ajith wrote: 'to the pastor of my teenage years, who influenced me in the beauty of godliness.'
Which matters more to us, the beauty of appearance or the beauty of godliness? Which do we spend more time cultivating?
This morning we continue our look at the Song of songs, and we see the young woman longing for her man. We are going to think about desire, character and intimacy.
Desire (1:2)
I have suggested that this song was written by Solomon, who was a great failure in love, who is writing about a fictional young couple. As with all of the Old Testament these words point us ahead to Jesus and his work on the cross. So we will look at these verses both as a reflection of human love and the love we want to pour out on Jesus.
The Song begins with with an expression of desire. 'Kiss me'. 'Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth.'
It is not wrong to want to be loved. In fact, it is a sign of emotional sickness when we push everyone away and erect a protective wall around ourself. It is not wrong to want romantic love. Although we must remember that the most complete human who ever lived, Jesus Christ, lived and died a virgin. The love that we need most of all is the love that can be experienced in Jesus Christ.
We grow our love for Jesus by looking at him in the face and meditating about the sacrifice he made so that we can be his. George Muller wrote, 'Happiness in God comes from seeing God revealed to us in the face of Jesus Christ through the Scriptures.'
So do we read the Bible simply as a text book trying to acquire knowledge or as a love letter where we can learn about someone we deeply care about and see how to live in the light of his love?
Character (1:3)
This young woman loves everything about her man. She loves the very smell of him, and she expects others to love him too. She loves his name.
Here 'name' is a reference to character. She doesn't just like his looks, she like who he is. Don't marry someone you can's (or won't) respect.
As I was thinking about his fragrance, which was the result of perfumed oils, I remembered how the Christian is called to be the aroma of Christ (2 Cor.2:15-16). 'We are the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. To one the fragrance of death to death, to the other the fragrance from life to life. Who is sufficient for these things?'
The apostle Paul was saying that as we live for Jesus, as we suffer for Jesus, as we speak about Jesus and as his character is formed in us, some will be drawn to his beauty and others will reject him in favour of the fleeting pleasures of the world.
Intimacy (1:4)
'Draw me after you; let us run. The king has brought me into his chambers' (4a).
It has been pointed out that the young woman does not seem to fit the social expectations of the time--she often takes the initiative. She actually is telling him to take initiative, My understanding is that many of our wives get frustrated by our lack of initiative.
She calls him her king, although he was not a king he was a shepherd. In Eastern Orthodox churches to this day the couple wear crowns on their wedding day. A married couple should treat each other as royalty.
Ray Ortland writes about a young woman called Tara. Tara worked as an actor in the porn industry. But God brought her to saving faith. She then married a Christian. This is what she says about him: 'My husband knows everything. And he treats me like a priceless treasure. I keep wondering, "when is he going to realise I don't deserve his love?" But he tells me all the time, "I want to spend every day, for the erst of my life, showing you how much Jesus loved you." And he does. I had never before seen a man treat a woman like royalty. It's ridiculously amazing.'
Men, are we going to objectify woman, looking at them through the eyes of lust, not just with pornography but in our daily glances, or are we going to treat woman as loved by God and made in his image?
A little while after I preached on these verses a young woman in our church told me that she enjoyed it, but that she wanted to add something. I treated sexual fantasy as if it was only a male problem. She pointed out that illicit sexual fantasises are also a problem for many women.
Finally, notice the chorus. The girl's friends rejoice in her man (the 'you' is masculine in the Hebrew). In other words they approve of the girl's choice for husband. Before you commit yourself to marrying someone make sure that he is someone that those who love you approve of.
Conclusion
Uncle George displayed the beauty of godliness. How much time do we spend working on our outer appearance, and how much time do we spend on cultivating the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit?
Look at Jesus. See how he treated people. See how he treated women. See the mercy he showed to sexual sinners. See him dying on the cross for all our lusts. Remember that his blood cleanses us from the foulest evil. There is no amount of dirt in our lives that he can't clean up. As we see his grace to us our love for him will grow. As we love him we will increasingly want to be rid of filth.
Think of his character. We want to cultivate the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, and we want to display the fruit of the Spirit that is self-control. Stop offering excuses. There is no behaviour so compulsive that Christ doesn't offer the power to overcome. he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear, and he will provide you a way out of temptation (! Cor. 10:13).
Song of songs is a call to intimacy. It is a call to safe, pure and godly relationships with people. It is a call to passionate intimacy with Jesus, the lover of our souls. As we fill our minds with his goodness and gentleness we will know a joy nothing cheaper can bring. Tim Chester says, ‘battling porn in our lives is not an exercise in denying pleasure. It’s about fighting pleasure with a greater pleasure.’ Intimacy with a husband or wife is wonderful, but what we were made for is the greater intimacy with God. You can be completely fulfilled in life without being married, but you won’t experience real life without Jesus. Our intimacy with him grows as we lean on him for strength and purity.
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