I used to read Isaiah 62:5 at weddings: ‘as a bridegroom
rejoices in his bride, so your God rejoices over you.’ I used to invite the congregation to look at
the groom and learn. Watch him as he
smiles at his bride, see him whisper in her ear and look at him as he leaves
this building with her on his arm, acting like the cat that got the cream. That is just an inadequate picture of the
infinitely greater love that God wants people to experience in Him.
In fact, in Mark’s gospel (2:14), Jesus takes this picture
of a bridegroom for Himself. Jesus, God
the Son, wants you to experience and enjoy His love.
1.
Marriage is a gift
Jesus has moved from Galilee to Judea. He is no longer just speaking to His
disciples but a crowd. The religious
leaders ask Him a question to catch Him out.
How do they intend to catch Jesus out?
Well, remember when John the Baptist criticised King Herod for marrying
his brother’s wife. That got John’s head
cut off. They are hoping Jesus might get
in similar trouble with His views of marriage.
As often happens, Jesus answers a question with a question. ‘What does Moses say?’ Moses wrote the first five books of the
Bible. In one of those books, Deuteronomy
(24:1-4), Moses gave God’s command, for that time, on divorce. A divorce law was given assumed that divorce
was taking place and it was aimed at making it harder for men to divorce their
wives, so that they would not simply treat their wife as a commodity. But that law, given through Moses, was given
because people’s hearts were hard. God’s
original design for marriage is found in Genesis 2.
In Genesis chapter 2 God’s design for marriage as a life
long union of one man and one woman. The
man and woman are seen as equals (‘made in the image of God’) but
different. They are a compliment, a fit,
for each other. This is a great gift
from God to people. In fact, Jesus talks
of God as being the one who puts people together.
Notice, in Genesis 2, what Adam does when he is presented
with his future wife. He sings. ‘This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of
my flesh, she shall be called woman, for she was taken out of man’ (2:23). If you want to bless your spouse rejoice over
them. Look to see their beauty. Be thankful that God has given them to
you. Ask God to help you appreciate
them. If you want to ruin your marriage
become an expert in criticism and comparison.
‘Why couldn’t our relationship be like theirs?’ ‘Why isn’t he as kind as
…?’ ‘Why isn’t she as beautiful as …?’
Like a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so your God
rejoices over you (Is. 62:5). Don’t stop
imitating God in this!
2.
Marriage is difficult
The whole conversation about marriage in our reading from
mark’s gospel, is set in the context of questions about divorce. Here Jesus forbids divorce, although I think
Mark assumes that his readers are familiar with what Matthew records of this
account, that divorce is permitted in the case of sexual immorality (Matt.
19:9). If your spouse commits adultery
you may, although you do not have to, divorce them.
Going back to Genesis we see that while marriage is a gift
from God, after the first couple rebel against God, marriage becomes hard. Their desire is to control each other (Gen.
3:16). In fact, when God confronts Adam
about his sin, the first thing that he does is point the finger at his
wife. Marriage is now a union of two
sinful and selfish people, and that makes it difficult. If you are finding marriage hard, you are not
alone.
In the early years of our marriage we really struggled to
get along. So, we were very excited when
the Bible teacher Paul Tripp came to speak at a local church. In my self-righteous heart I hoped that he
would point the finger at wives. I
thought he would say, ‘the problem is that Christian woman just don’t respect
their husbands these days.’ Maybe
Caroline was hoping that he would say, ‘the problem today is that Christian
husbands are lazy.’ He said
neither. His message was simply, ‘repent,
repent and repent.’ It is only when we
ask God to expose our faults, rather than been an expert in our spouse’s faults,
that we have any hope to change.
Which brings me to my final point!
3.
The
gospel can restore marriages
The Old Testament law of Deuteronomy was given because ‘people’s
hearts were hard’. But Jesus expects
more from His people. He can soften our
hearts. It is important to notice the
context of the apostle Paul’s teaching on sacrificing husbands and respectful
wives (Eph. 5:32).
The context to Paul’s teaching on marriage in Ephesians is
that Christians are not to grieve the Holy Spirit with bitterness, but to be
kind, compassionate and forgiving (4:34).
We are to forgive as Christ has forgiven us. To sustain our marriage, we have to daily
remind ourselves of the gospel of God’s forgiveness. Then, rather than depend on our own strength,
we are to be filled with the Spirit (5:18).
It is only as we lean on Him that we will submit to each other out of
reverence for Christ.
Look at Jesus. Let
His grace transform you. Ask the Holy
Spirit to change you. Then you will be
become less preoccupied with changing your spouse and more concerned with being
like Jesus.
Conclusion: The woman no one wanted.
When I talk on marriage I feel really insensitive. I know that some of you would love to be
married but have never had the opportunity.
I also know that some of you may have experienced the pain of a difficult
divorce. The Bible is clear that
singleness can be difficult, marriage can be difficult, but what is worse than
both is living in a cold marriage.
I need to be clear at this point. I am talking about a cold marriage not an
abusive marriage. If you find yourself
in an abusive marriage you need to get out of there straight away. I would hope that your church will support
you.
But many people live in cold marriages. Their marriage simply does not reach up to
their expectations. If they were shaped
by rom-coms those expectations may have been unrealistic. All marriages travel through down times. I remember at the beginning of our marriage
thinking, ‘is this really what I spent years looking forward to?’
If you are in a cold marriage, take heart, not only can he
restore your marriage, but even if it is not restored He want to shower you in
His love.
Tim Keller once had a sermon called ‘The Woman no-one wanted!’
In the book of Genesis, a deceiver was deceived. That is no surprise because all God’s people
in the Bible are flawed. Jacob has his
heart set of a girl called Rachel, but on the wedding night Rachel’s father
switches the bride and Jacob wakes up married to Leah. Leah is not as beautiful as Rachel. Jacob
would later go on to marry Rachel, and he always loved Rachel more than
Leah. Leah had to live in a marriage that
was cold.
But God loved Leah, and she gave birth to a son called
Judah. Judah would become a descendant of
the great King David, who was a descendant of Jesus. In Jesus we have the heavenly bridegroom who
rejoices over His people with singing.
Leah’s imperfect marriage was blessed in love by God to be a
part of His great plan of salvation. You
may feel like the man or woman that no one wants, but God wants to shower you
with love in Jesus, which is better than any marriage. Your plans for marriage may not have worked
out as you hoped, but God has even better plans for you.
What is the best thing about marriage? Not the sex, not even the companionship, but
the fact that marriage is an imperfect picture of the love that God wants you
to enjoy in Him!
No comments:
Post a Comment