Tuesday, 28 November 2023

The girl no-one wanted (Genesis 29:15-35)

 

Have you ever been rejected?

You loved him, but he has no interest in you.  You had thought that she was the one, but she no longer wants you.  Your marriage started well, but now it is cold and indifferent.

It might not be romance that has caused this pain.  Maybe it was a parent.  Your father was always at work.  Your mother always criticized.  You always felt unwanted.

It could be friendship.  Friends can let you down.  Friends move away.  Friends can lose interest in the friendship.

This morning’s passage is for those times when we feel that no-one cares.  For Leah was the girl that nobody wanted.

Only God can complete us (15-25)

In the movie Jerry Maguire, the lead, played by Tom Hanks, looks at the woman he loves and utters the immortal word, ‘you complete me.’  The hope that a person, a possession or anything other than God can complete us has left so many people disillusioned.  Just look at Tom Cruise’s off-screen life and you will see that no relationship has ever left him feeling complete.

Jacob was on the run from his brother Esau, whom he had deceived.  He heads for his uncle Laban.  The first person he meets in that area was a beautiful young girl called Rachel.  It seems to have been love at first sight.  Maybe he thought to himself, ‘she will complete me’.

Not only did Jacob seek refuge with Laban, he put himself to work.  Laban sees his value and offers to start paying him.  ‘What will be your wage?’  Jacob asks for Rachel.

In that culture there was the custom of a bride-price.  The prospective husband paid the girl’s father in order to have her hand in marriage.  Although Jacob came from a wealthy family, he had fled with nothing.  All he can offer is himself.  Laban sees that Jacob is desperate for Rachel, and sets the price high, at seven years work.  Jacob’s love for Rachel is so strong that his time of working goes quickly.  The day for the wedding comes.

Jacob was a deceiver.  He had tricked his father into giving him his dying blessing, by dressing up as his brother, Esau.  Now Jacob is going to taste some of his own medicine.  The deceiver is about to be deceived. 

On the first night of the wedding feast, which was to last a week, Laban switches Rachel for her sister, Leah.  Leah was not pretty.  I think that Jacob knew it would be hard to get someone to marry Leah, and that this is why he tricks Jacob.

On the night of the wedding Laban switches daughters.  I wondered how he got away with this.  Well, all day the bride would have worn a veil.  By the time the evening came, when the switch happened it was dark.  I also suspect that Jacob may have been fairly drunk.

I think it also shows how forceful a man Laban was.  Leah might have been talked into this arrangement, but it is very hard to see how Rachel could have been persuaded.  Laban was a man who had to get his way.

In the morning Jacob woke up and, behold, it was Leah.  Jacob is not only shocked, he is disappointed. 

Old Testament scholar, Derek Kidner, suggests that this is a picture of the disappointment we all feel.  We are all on a quest to find that someone, or something, that will complete us.  Jacob’s experience is our experience, we reach out to take hold of ‘Rachel’, thinking that this will make everything right, but in the morning, we behold Leah.  In the heat of the night we think sex, popularity, romance or the next purchase will finally make us happy, in the cool of the morning we are left with disappointment.

There is an itch that only God can scratch.  Augustine famously wrote, ‘you have made us for yourself and our hearts are restless until they find their rest in you.’  Similarly, C. S. Lewis explained ‘If I find in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most probable explanation is that I was made for another world.’

Only Jesus paid an incalculable bride price for us (26-30)

Only God can complete us.  But how does He scratch that itch?  I believe that the way He scratches that itch is showing us how much He loves us.  I think that there is nothing more essential for your growth as a Christian than seeing how much you mean to him.

Leah meant nothing to Jacob.  In fact, it seems that he resented her.  Leah had to live with the fact that while Jacob was willing to work fourteen years for her sister, Rachel, he hadn’t lifted a finger for her.  She had to live that her father had to trick someone into marrying her, and every day she saw that Jacob loved Rachel more than her.  She really was the girl that no-one wanted.  Maybe that is how you feel at times.

Wouldn’t you feel special if someone was willing to work for fourteen years to have you?  If you are a Christian you have to realize that there is someone who went to infinitely more trouble to make you His.  Jesus left His Father’s side in heaven, took on the nature of a man, lived a life of suffering and died a shameful death on a cross so that you could be His.

You may feel that no one wants you, but Jesus delights in you.

Jesus gives us a love that we do not and cannot earn (31-34)

God kindness is very evident to Leah.  He sees that she is hated and rejected and He cares.  He opens her womb and she gave birth to Reuben— ‘see, a son’.  God has seen her, but that is not enough for her.  She hopes that giving birth to a son will cause her husband to love her.  Then she gives birth to Simeon and Levi.  Levi means ‘attached’.  She hopes that Jacob will be attached to her because she has given him three sons.

Leah thought, ‘I will be complete if Jacob loves me’.  But if you read ahead you will see that Rachel did not feel complete even though Jacob loved her.  She is still looking in the wrong place to find wholeness.  He doesn’t want us to try to earn His love, the way Leah was trying to earn Jacob’s..  He simply wants us to be transformed by His love.  It is not by works that you have been saved, it is the free gift of God.  Jesus says, ‘come unto me all you who are heavy laden and I will give you rest.’

Ask God to show satisfy you in His love

The Bible is honest that singleness can be hard and lonely.  The Bible is very honest that marriage can be a struggle.  But perhaps the hardest place to be is in a marriage that is cold.  That was Leah’s experience.

But in our final verse something changes for her.  With the birth of her fourth son, she does not say, but ‘now my husband will love me,’ she says, ‘this time I will praise the LORD’.  Therefore, she called him Judah, which means ‘praise’ (35).  She no longer finds her identity in being a victim.  She no longer idolizes Jacob’s love.  She has found her life.  She is free.  She has given up on looking for a human relationship to complete her.

I am not saying that it is wrong to want romance.  That can be a gift from God.  I am saying that you will always be disappointed if you demand a parent, a child, a friend or a spouse to complete you.  ‘I would be happy if I had a boyfriend,’ no he won’t complete you.  ’I would be happy if my marriage was better,’ no that won’t complete you.  ‘I would be happy if my children loved me more wholeheartedly,’ no that too won’t complete you.  Only God completes us.  We find that sense of completion as we look at Christ and see how much He loves us.  May the Holy Spirit help us know something of the depths of that love.  May we have the wisdom to spend time with Him nurturing that relationship.

Leah wanted a husband who would love her wholeheartedly.  That husband actually came from her womb.  Her son Judah, would become an ancestor of King David, who was the famous ancestor of Jesus.  Jesus is the one who took upon Himself the bridegroom language of the Old Testament.  So, listen to what He says to you,

‘As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so will your God rejoice over you.’ (Isaiah 62:5)

 

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