Have you
ever been rejected?
You loved
him, but he has no interest in you. You
had thought that she was the one, but she no longer wants you. Your marriage started well, but now it is
cold and indifferent.
It might
not be romance that has caused this pain.
Maybe it was a parent. Your
father was always at work. Your mother
always criticized. You always felt
unwanted.
It could be
friendship. Friends can let you
down. Friends move away. Friends can lose interest in the friendship.
This
morning’s passage is for those times when we feel that no-one cares. For Leah was the girl that nobody wanted.
Only God can complete us (15-25)
In the
movie Jerry Maguire, the lead, played by Tom Hanks, looks at the woman he loves
and utters the immortal word, ‘you complete me.’ The hope that a person, a possession or
anything other than God can complete us has left so many people
disillusioned. Just look at Tom Cruise’s
off-screen life and you will see that no relationship has ever left him feeling
complete.
Jacob was
on the run from his brother Esau, whom he had deceived. He heads for his uncle Laban. The first person he meets in that area was a
beautiful young girl called Rachel. It
seems to have been love at first sight.
Maybe he thought to himself, ‘she will complete me’.
Not only
did Jacob seek refuge with Laban, he put himself to work. Laban sees his value and offers to start
paying him. ‘What will be your wage?’ Jacob asks for Rachel.
In that
culture there was the custom of a bride-price.
The prospective husband paid the girl’s father in order to have her hand
in marriage. Although Jacob came from a
wealthy family, he had fled with nothing.
All he can offer is himself.
Laban sees that Jacob is desperate for Rachel, and sets the price high,
at seven years work. Jacob’s love for
Rachel is so strong that his time of working goes quickly. The day for the wedding comes.
Jacob was a
deceiver. He had tricked his father into
giving him his dying blessing, by dressing up as his brother, Esau. Now Jacob is going to taste some of his own
medicine. The deceiver is about to be
deceived.
On the
first night of the wedding feast, which was to last a week, Laban switches
Rachel for her sister, Leah. Leah was
not pretty. I think that Jacob knew it
would be hard to get someone to marry Leah, and that this is why he tricks
Jacob.
On the
night of the wedding Laban switches daughters.
I wondered how he got away with this.
Well, all day the bride would have worn a veil. By the time the evening came, when the switch
happened it was dark. I also suspect
that Jacob may have been fairly drunk.
I think it
also shows how forceful a man Laban was.
Leah might have been talked into this arrangement, but it is very hard
to see how Rachel could have been persuaded.
Laban was a man who had to get his way.
In the
morning Jacob woke up and, behold, it was Leah.
Jacob is not only shocked, he is disappointed.
Old
Testament scholar, Derek Kidner, suggests that this is a picture of the
disappointment we all feel. We are all
on a quest to find that someone, or something, that will complete us. Jacob’s experience is our experience, we
reach out to take hold of ‘Rachel’, thinking that this will make everything
right, but in the morning, we behold Leah.
In the heat of the night we think sex, popularity, romance or the next
purchase will finally make us happy, in the cool of the morning we are left
with disappointment.
There is an
itch that only God can scratch.
Augustine famously wrote, ‘you have made us for yourself and our hearts
are restless until they find their rest in you.’ Similarly, C. S. Lewis explained ‘If I find
in myself a desire which no experience in this world can satisfy, the most
probable explanation is that I was made for another world.’
Only Jesus paid an incalculable bride price for
us (26-30)
Only God
can complete us. But how does He scratch
that itch? I believe that the way He
scratches that itch is showing us how much He loves us. I think that there is nothing more essential
for your growth as a Christian than seeing how much you mean to him.
Leah meant
nothing to Jacob. In fact, it seems that
he resented her. Leah had to live with
the fact that while Jacob was willing to work fourteen years for her sister,
Rachel, he hadn’t lifted a finger for her.
She had to live that her father had to trick someone into marrying her,
and every day she saw that Jacob loved Rachel more than her. She really was the girl that no-one
wanted. Maybe that is how you feel at
times.
Wouldn’t
you feel special if someone was willing to work for fourteen years to have
you? If you are a Christian you have to
realize that there is someone who went to infinitely more trouble to make you
His. Jesus left His Father’s side in
heaven, took on the nature of a man, lived a life of suffering and died a
shameful death on a cross so that you could be His.
You may feel
that no one wants you, but Jesus delights in you.
Jesus gives us a love
that we do not and cannot earn (31-34)
God kindness is very evident to Leah. He sees that she is hated and rejected and He
cares. He opens her womb and she gave
birth to Reuben— ‘see, a son’. God has
seen her, but that is not enough for her.
She hopes that giving birth to a son will cause her husband to love
her. Then she gives birth to Simeon and
Levi. Levi means ‘attached’. She hopes that Jacob will be attached to her
because she has given him three sons.
Leah thought, ‘I will be complete if Jacob
loves me’. But if you read ahead you
will see that Rachel did not feel complete even though Jacob loved her. She is still looking in the wrong place to
find wholeness. He doesn’t want us to
try to earn His love, the way Leah was trying to earn Jacob’s.. He simply wants us to be transformed by His
love. It is not by works that you have
been saved, it is the free gift of God.
Jesus says, ‘come unto me all you who are heavy laden and I will give
you rest.’
Ask God to show
satisfy you in His love
The Bible is honest that singleness can be hard
and lonely. The Bible is very honest
that marriage can be a struggle. But perhaps
the hardest place to be is in a marriage that is cold. That was Leah’s experience.
But in our final verse something changes for
her. With the birth of her fourth son,
she does not say, but ‘now my husband will love me,’ she says, ‘this time I
will praise the LORD’. Therefore, she
called him Judah, which means ‘praise’ (35).
She no longer finds her identity in being a victim. She no longer idolizes Jacob’s love. She has found her life. She is free.
She has given up on looking for a human relationship to complete her.
I am not saying that it is wrong to want
romance. That can be a gift from
God. I am saying that you will always be
disappointed if you demand a parent, a child, a friend or a spouse to complete
you. ‘I would be happy if I had a
boyfriend,’ no he won’t complete you. ’I
would be happy if my marriage was better,’ no that won’t complete you. ‘I would be happy if my children loved me
more wholeheartedly,’ no that too won’t complete you. Only God completes us. We find that sense of completion as we look
at Christ and see how much He loves us.
May the Holy Spirit help us know something of the depths of that
love. May we have the wisdom to spend
time with Him nurturing that relationship.
Leah wanted a husband who would love her
wholeheartedly. That husband actually
came from her womb. Her son Judah, would
become an ancestor of King David, who was the famous ancestor of Jesus. Jesus is the one who took upon Himself the
bridegroom language of the Old Testament.
So, listen to what He says to you,
‘As a bridegroom rejoices over his bride, so
will your God rejoice over you.’ (Isaiah 62:5)
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