Monday, 4 February 2019

The rape of Tamar (2 Samuel 13)

If God treats us not as our sins deserve but according to his loving-kindness, then why does David’s baby die after his adultery and murder?  If there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, then why does God punish David for his sin?  If God does not hold our sin against us, then why does he allow us experience sin’s dreadful consequences?  I think that the answer is found in the fact that God is a good God who treats his people as dearly loved sons and daughters.

It is the devil who tells us that our sins will have no consequences.  God warns us of the consequences to stop us from sinning.  When we are brought to faith in Christ, God no longer is our judge but our father.  There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, but as a loving father, he disciplines his children.  A loving father may be angry with his children, but not in a way that threatens his love.  He disciplines us for our good, that we might share in his holiness (Hebrews 12:10).

When Adam and Eve sinned, one consequence was disharmony among their children: Cain murdered his brother Abel.  Here one of the consequences of David’s adultery and murder is similar disharmony among his children.  This morning’s passage contains rape and murder.
Sexual sin involves treating people as things
Like many people, Amnon developed a sexual attraction to someone who was off limits.  Tamar was his half-sister.  The Law of Mosses forbade marriage between half-siblings.  Like his father, David, Amnon did not control his lust.  He raped Tamar.  Then having violated her, he treats her like dirt.  Verse seventeen, literally reads, ‘put this out of my presence and bolt the door after her.’
Christians should be clear in their condemnation of sexual violence.  ‘No’ means ‘no’.  Whatever the circumstances, nothing justifies sex without consent.  If you feel sexually, physically or emotionally threatened by your spouse you should tell someone and find somewhere safer to live.
After Amnon had raped Tamar his feelings towards her changed.  He began to hate her.  There have been many times where a young man has said to a young woman, ‘if you love me you will sleep with me.’  He may have even given the impression that he intended to marry her at some future date.  Yet when he has had has satisfied his lust, he has lost interest and left the woman with regrets.  There is no better way to prove your love than by waiting for marriage.
How parents act influences the way that our children behave
One of the tragic things about this story is that Amnon has acted like his father did.  David had also refused to control his lusts.  There is an element here of ‘like father like son’.  
Parenting is a terrible responsibility.  Don’t be surprised if your child struggles with anger if you don’t control your temper.  Don’t be shocked if they think Christians are hypocrites if you are a different person at home than in church.  If you treat the opposite sex without respect, then you can expect that your sons and daughters to do likewise.
The Son of David will not ignore justice
The picture of Tamar’s grief is one of abject misery.  ‘Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the long rob she wore.  And she laid her hand on her head and went away, crying aloud as she went’ (19).
When David is told that Amnon has raped Tamar, what does he do?  David did nothing!  Amnon was his eldest son, and so David overlooked the offence.  He has lost all moral courage.  While David ignores justice, Absalom takes justice into his own hands and murders his brother.  What does David do when he hears of Amnon’s death?  He grieves.  But again, he takes no action.  He is not acting as the king of justice.
Both David and Absalom acted wrongly.  It is wrong to ignore justice, and it is God’s place, not ours, to avenge.  Part of God’s justice is to use the courts of the land (Romans 13:4).  So, if you have committed a sexual crime, we will talk to you about God’s amazing forgiveness, but we must also report you to the Gardaí.
David may have ignored justice, but the Son of David does not.  The Croatian theologian, Miroslav Volf, writes: ‘One could object that it is not worthy of God to wield the sword.  Is God not love, long-suffering and all-powerful love? … if God were not angry at injustice and deception and did not make the final end to violence God would not be worthy of our worship.’  It takes the tranquillity of a quiet suburban home to believe that it would be good for God not to judge.  Talk of a non-judging God to the victims of rape and violence and they will tell you he must not care about them.
Even if the courts give an overly lenient sentence, there will be a day of justice.  Jimmy Savile did not get away with it.  The Lord Jesus will be revealed from heaven with his mighty angels in flaming fire, inflicting vengeance on those who do not know God and those who do not obey the gospel of our Lord Jesus Christ (2 Thess. 1: 7).  The book of Revelation pictures God’s New Heaven and New Earth, but the sexually immoral are locked outside to experience to second death (Revelation 21:8).
Jesus offers hope to sexual sinners like us
The term translated ‘sexually immoral’ refers to all sex outside of the marriage.  Jesus equates sexual lust with adultery.  So what hope is there for sexual sinners like us?  You see, like Amnon we have had lustful thoughts about people who were off limits.  I have not met any man who could tell me that he has never thought lustfully about someone he was not married to.  I used to think that lust was more of a male problem than a female problem until I saw the sales figures for Fifty Shades of Grey.
To sexual-sinners like us, God says: ‘do you not know that the unrighteous not inherit the kingdom of God?  Do not be deceived, neither the sexually immoral … nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality … will inherit the kingdom of God.  And that is what some of you were.  But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God’ (2 Corinthians 6:9-12).
Unlike David, Jesus will not turn a blind-eye to sexual sin.  If you think that what you do in the bedroom or look at on the screen does not matter to God, you are deceived.  While all genuine Christians struggle with sexual temptation and hate it that they fall and fail, the person I worry about is the person who is willing to happily live with such sin.  There is no evidence that such a person is actually a child of God.  Yet there is hope for sexual sinners, like us and like David.  We can sing, ‘Blessed is the person whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered.  Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against him … (Psalm 32:1-2).  On the cross Jesus bore the wrath for all of our sexual sin.
Conclusion
At the beginning of this sermon I mentioned that the story of David echoes the story of Adam and Eve.  Although there is a lot in this passage about sexual sin, the main theme of this passage is the faithfulness of our promise-keeping God.  In both the Genesis story and the story of David, there is a fall into serious sin.  In both stories one of the consequences is murder in the next generation.  But both stories contain a promise of God.  God promised Eve a son who would crush the serpents head and David a son who would build the temple and reign for ever.
After Cain murders Abel we are left wondering who the serpent-crushing son will be?  After Absalom murders Amnon we are left wondering who will be the son who will build the temple and reign for ever?  It looks like sin is going to destroy God’s promise.  But our gracious God will not let sin get in the way of bringing his plans to fruition.  To Adam and Eve, God shows his commitment to his promise by giving Seth.  To David, God gives Solomon.  But neither Seth or Solomon are God’s full answer to his promise, the serpent-crusher and forever king is Jesus.  All God’s promises are ‘yes’ in Jesus!
Because all God’s promises are yes in Jesus, we can be sure that God will do all that he has promised.  Therefore, we know that there will be a day when the Son of David will ensure that perfect justice is done, and we know that at this time of his grace when all sinners can come to have their condemnation lifted and be accepted as sons of the most high.  
If you think that sexual sin does not matter to God, then you don’t know God.  If you have given up the struggle against sexual temptation, then your probably don’t know God.  If you no longer grieve when you fail with lustful thoughts, then you might not know God.  But knowing God also tells me that he is willing to forgive the sexual sinner, that when we fall, he is willing to pick us up; that when we are tempted, he will provide a way of escape; and that his Spirit within makes it impossible to be content with sin.

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