This is a topic I have
wanted to preach on for years, but I have not known how to. You see, I am aware that many Christians feel
great pain about children who seem to have walked away from the faith. Indeed, it might not be one of your children
who is prodigal—maybe your husband or wife has lost all interest in Jesus;
maybe it is a brother or sister that you weep over; or even a parent. I have not known how to speak into your
pain. I don’t want to naively promise
you that everything is bound to turn out all right, and yet I am desperate to
encourage you not to give up hoping, loving and praying.
If you are the parent
of a prodigal you are in good company. I
was reading Billy Graham’s autobiography when I was struck by how his son,
Franklin, had left his childhood faith to chase after women and drugs. More significantly, you stand alongside the
gracious father in this parable, a man who pictures the Father-heart of God.
I don’t want you to
feel shame about the fact that your child does not love Jesus. Not that you haven’t made mistakes! Indeed, your child may point to you as the
reason that they consider Christianity unattractive. Jack and Rosie Miller write of the fact that
they spent so much time focusing on their daughter’s outward behaviour—that she
would conform to the image of a Christian girl—that they forgot about her
heart. However, shame has no place in
the Christian life—you are an accepted, forgiven and adored child of God. The truth is that all have messed up in
countless ways as parents, whether or children love God or not. Indeed, if you sit here, the parent of
children who love the Lord, don’t think you have reason to boast or look down
on the parents of prodigals—it was grace that saved your children; it was God’s
work not yours; and he did that work in spite of all the ways you got it wrong
as a parent.
What is a
prodigal? I heard a great description of
a prodigal being someone for whom the good news has stopped being good
news. Like the younger son they have
departed to find their pleasure somewhere other than with his. However, remember that there are two lost
children in this story. The older
brother may not have been lavish in wastefulness, but he was proud and
self-righteous, and he didn’t care about his father’s love. You could have a child who is respectable in
every way, but whose idol is their own self-worth, and who does not realise how
sinful it is to spurn the forgiving love of God.
We read that the younger son ended up in dire straits. ‘There was a severe famine … and he began to be in need.’ While this son was partying, he gave no thought to his father or his home. It was only when he was reduced to the pigsty that he began to realise how foolish he was. Many people come to faith during times of crisis. It is natural that you want your child to be happy; but God may need to make them miserable to wake them up. Ask God to do whatever it takes to grab their attention. Your prodigal may need to be deserted by friends and brought to a place where they feel utterly alone. They may need to experience failure and loss. Pray that they would come to their senses quickly and not experience more pain than they need.
Bryan Chapell tells the story of a sincere mother who once told him that she did not want to pray that God would do whatever was necessary to cause her son to lean of Jesus because she feared the pain God would have to bring into his life to turn him from sin. Sadly, because the son did not turn from sin, the pain he caused his family crushed them all.
Pray that God would enable them to think clearly. ‘He came to his senses.’ Spurgeon writes, ‘That young man went from his home, though it was the best home in the world … It was a happy home … yet he quits it to go, he knows not where, among strangers who don’t give a straw for him and who, when they had drained his purse, would not give him even a penny with which to buy bread to save him from starving!’ ‘The most reasonable thing in the world is to spend life for its true design and not to fling it away as though it were a pebble on the seashore.’
There is a madness is
being a prodigal. The young woman wanted
the comfort of being touched so she went to bed with her lovers; but they weren’t
lovers, they didn’t care about her, and she ended up feeling alone and
used. The young man wanted fun, so he
partied all night; but he couldn’t shake the feeling of emptiness. The older son wanted to show his worth by
making the team, and somewhere along the way, as he strove towards that goal,
the way his life stopped being centred on God.
The older daughter spent all her time trying to make the grade, but when
she got her results she thought, ‘there must be more than this!’
There is more than
that! Pray that God would remind them of
his abundant provisions. ‘How many of my father’s hired men have
bread enough to spare, and I am starving to death.’ Spurgeon says that ‘bread enough to spare’
might be taken as the motto for the gospel.
Don’t try to nag them
to come home to God. Nagging gives the
impression that coming to God is some sort of joyless obligation. Don’t try to shame them into coming
home—telling them how disappointed his mother would be with him, for that will
not change his heart and cause him to rejoice in God. Pray for them, and also for your own soul, so
that they might see the beauty and satisfaction that God can bring to life. He has bread enough to spare, and he is
lavish in grace and goodness. Ask God to
produce such joyful godliness in you that they might see that life in Christ is
something to be treasured.
However, don’t fake it—as if you are always happy. Read the psalms and you will see that God’s
people often struggle in hard times.
Your prodigal will see through you if you are acting. Instead, let them realise that God’s people
hold on to him even when life is hard, and that his presence comforts them even
as they grieve.
‘I’ll
set out and go back to my father.’ You
don’t want them to simply become a respectable pagan. You want them to come to the heavenly
Father. I wonder if that young man
remembered how kind his father was. Pray
that they would not have a skewed vision of God. Some fail to see the holiness of God and
don’t see that they will face his judgement if they don’t repent. Others, however, ‘imagine God to be a severe
being, angry and fierce, very easily to be moved to wrath, but not so easy to
be induced to love’ (Spurgeon). They
might see him as indifferent and uncaring.
Let the gospel you share with them be the good news of the cross—where
wrath and mercy meet, and divine love is supremely demonstrated.
I
will say, “I have sinned against heaven and against you, I am not worthy to be
your son.’ This is one
of the most important things your prodigal needs to realise. There is no true faith in Christ without an
awareness of being spiritually bankrupt.
It is the Holy Spirit’s job to convict them of sin. Ask the Holy Spirit to give them the godly sorrow
that leads to repentance. This may be
most difficult for your child to understand if they have built their identity
of respectability. We live in a society
that does not realise that the vilest thing any person can do is spurn the love
of God. Pray that they would discover
that while they are more sinful than they ever realised, they are more loved
than they dared dream.
Conclusion
John Piper is a famous
pastor in America. When his son,
Abraham, was nineteen, he stopped pretending that he followed Jesus. Abraham writes, ‘At first I pretended that my
reasoning was high-minded and philosophical.
But really I just wanted to drink gallons of cheap sangria and sleep
around. Four years of this and I was
strung out, stupefied and generally pretty low; especially when I was sober and
alone.’
‘My parents, who are
strong believers and who raised their kids as well as any parents I’ve ever
seen, were heartbroken and baffled.’
But one morning he
received an email from a girl that mentioned a verse from the Apostle Paul’s
letter to the Romans. So, with beer in
hand, he started reading. By the time he
got to the tenth chapter, the beer was finished, and he had become a
Christian. ‘The best way I know to
describe what happened to me that morning is that God made it possible for me
to love Jesus. When he makes this
possible, and at the same time gives you a glimpse of the true wonder of Jesus,
it is impossible to resist his call.’
Looking back on his
years of rejecting Christ, he offers some advice to those who are trying to
reach out to their wayward children. He
says, ‘your rebellious child’s real problem is not drugs or sex … The real
problem is that your child does not see Jesus clearly … The best thing you can
do for your rebellious children … is to show them Christ … the goal is not that
they will be good kids again … The ultimate reason to pray for them … is so
that their eyes will be opened to Jesus Christ … when they see the wonder of
Jesus, satisfaction will be redefined ... Only His grace can draw them from
their perilous pursuits and bind them safely to Him—captive but satisfied. God will do this for many. Be faithful and don’t give up.’
No comments:
Post a Comment