It is said that men are primarily tempted through their eyes whereas women are more tempted through their ears. We men are simple creatures, parade a provocatively dressed woman in front of us and we will struggle. It doesn’t matter if we have never spoken to her or if she is hot tempered and mean spirited, we easily separate the figure from character. Women don’t detach personality and body so easily. That’s not to say that women can’t be base—it isn’t just the girls in the Diet Coke ads that engage in cheap lust.
‘For a woman the battle often begins in a heart full of disappointment’, so it says in the forward to the book Every Woman’s Battle. If you are married you may be increasingly aware of your husband’s failings. He is not as attentive as he used to be when you were dating. He is not as thoughtful as he was in the early days of your marriage. He snores, leaves the loo seat up, keeps his side of the bed in a mess, has bad breath in the morning, doesn’t dress to impress and has put on a few pounds.
The temptation for wives is to compare your husbands with other men. These men might be real or imagined, people you know or actors on the screen. Your husband’s shortcomings are worsened by their charm. Of course you are being naïve. The charmer may actually be a grump, the joker maybe a cynic and the sensitive guy may be tetchy. But your naivety is not as big a problem as your unfaithfulness. You might never lay your finger on another man but give your heart to the thought of many men. You might not think a sexually explicit thought of them but develop an emotional attachment to them.
Marriage isn’t about finding our spouse more attractive than any other person we may meet. Wives, there will be men who are more attractive to you than your husband. Husbands, there will be women who are more attractive to you than your wives. But our love isn’t based on living in a world full of less attractive people; it’s based on the commitment made with our marriage. It’s based on the opportunity to honour God in our marriage by loving our spouse despite all their imperfections. It won’t always be easy but it is something we must strive for by God’s grace.
Single men need to take care about what they look at just like married men. Like those who are married single women need to ensure that they do not develop unhealthy attractions. If you are dating you face particular temptations. Don’t let the guy go further than he should just to keep him attracted to you. Guys don’t act in such a way that leaves you uncomfortable to realise that God sees all we do. If you consider marriage there are questions you should be asking before you even start going out with someone—‘Does this person share my love for Jesus?’ ‘Am I willing to respect and honour them?’ ‘Are they the sort of person I could commit myself to?’
‘For a woman the battle often begins in a heart full of disappointment’, so it says in the forward to the book Every Woman’s Battle. If you are married you may be increasingly aware of your husband’s failings. He is not as attentive as he used to be when you were dating. He is not as thoughtful as he was in the early days of your marriage. He snores, leaves the loo seat up, keeps his side of the bed in a mess, has bad breath in the morning, doesn’t dress to impress and has put on a few pounds.
The temptation for wives is to compare your husbands with other men. These men might be real or imagined, people you know or actors on the screen. Your husband’s shortcomings are worsened by their charm. Of course you are being naïve. The charmer may actually be a grump, the joker maybe a cynic and the sensitive guy may be tetchy. But your naivety is not as big a problem as your unfaithfulness. You might never lay your finger on another man but give your heart to the thought of many men. You might not think a sexually explicit thought of them but develop an emotional attachment to them.
Marriage isn’t about finding our spouse more attractive than any other person we may meet. Wives, there will be men who are more attractive to you than your husband. Husbands, there will be women who are more attractive to you than your wives. But our love isn’t based on living in a world full of less attractive people; it’s based on the commitment made with our marriage. It’s based on the opportunity to honour God in our marriage by loving our spouse despite all their imperfections. It won’t always be easy but it is something we must strive for by God’s grace.
Single men need to take care about what they look at just like married men. Like those who are married single women need to ensure that they do not develop unhealthy attractions. If you are dating you face particular temptations. Don’t let the guy go further than he should just to keep him attracted to you. Guys don’t act in such a way that leaves you uncomfortable to realise that God sees all we do. If you consider marriage there are questions you should be asking before you even start going out with someone—‘Does this person share my love for Jesus?’ ‘Am I willing to respect and honour them?’ ‘Are they the sort of person I could commit myself to?’
No comments:
Post a Comment