Do we need Xanax?

I woke up this morning and soon was feeling anxious.  I have struggled with my nerves at times in my life.  On a number of occasions, it has been debilitating.  Last night I had gone to our medicine box and dug out some Xanax I had been prescribed at a time when I had suffered a breakdown, and this morning I took one.  It is Saturday, and so I cannot talk to my doctor, but plan to do so on Monday.

I have been under a lot of stress.  There is a family situation that is quite demanding.  There is the fact that I had recently had a small operation, and was in agony for part of yesterday.  My siblings and I are currently trying to figure out how to care for our elderly parents.  I had just completed a couple of weeks of the busiest ministry I have ever experienced.  Then, last night, we took an antigen test and myself and my wife showed positive.  We are going to have to isolate for a week.

When my nerves struggle my thinking becomes unbalanced.  I get drawn to dark thoughts.  I began to think obsessively of the lostness of our world, and in particular the painful fact that people who refuse to give their lives to Jesus and embrace His forgiveness are going to be eternally lost.  It all became too much.  In the past, when I used to get into such a state, I feared that I was beyond God’s grace.  Such feelings are terrifying.  Such obsessing is related to the fact that I struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

But should I have relied on a Xanax?  Afterall, shouldn’t it have been enough to cast my anxieties on the Lord who cares for me (1 Peter 5:7)?  Let me share a couple of thoughts.

Firstly, while we are told not to worry (Matthew 6:25) not all anxiety is sin.  We have been working through Second Corinthians in our Sunday evening service, and I am stuck by the anxieties that the apostle Paul and his colleagues felt under the crushing weight of their ministry.  Paul writes that ‘we were under a burden far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life’ (2 Corinthians 1:8).  If our worries reflect a simple lack of trust in our heavenly Father to provide our daily needs then, yes, we need to exercise more faith.  But it may be that you are simply breaking under the weight of the pressures you are facing at this moment.  I also want to say, that even if our worries do reflect a lack of faith, our Saviour is gentle—a bruised reed He will not break, and a smoldering wick He will not snuff out (Matthew 12:20).  There can be a great gentleness in His command to stop worrying.

Secondly, in a fallen world our brains don’t function the way they should.  A failure to understand mental illness is a failure to understand the implications of the first three chapters of Genesis.  The fact that some people are more prone to anxiety than others may reflect such things as the make-up of their brain.  As I think of the current war in Ukraine I feel so weak that I can’t handle my current stresses, when there are so many people who are suffering the loss of home and the danger to life.  But we need to speak graciously to ourselves.  God is sovereign over the way we have been formed. 

So, do we need Xanax?  Issues like burnout, panic attacks and nervous breakdowns are more than simply not having trust in God.  They are like a wound or injury to the brain.  The brain is struggling to function well.  Like any wound it needs treatment.  I have never heard someone being accused of not trusting God because they practice deep breathing or figure out how to have a healthier work/life balance.  Often injuries or illnesses should be treated with medication, and these medications are received as a gift from God (1 Timothy 5:23

I want to finish with two insights made by doctor friends of mine.  One, a General Practitioner, expressed his frustration that in our overburdened health service it is too easy to simply write a prescription.  Mental health issues often have a variety of causes and resources need to be put into talking therapies as well as medicinal treatments.  The second, a neurologist, pointed out that one role of medicines, in regards to mental health, can be to restore a sense of equilibrium to the brain, and that this will help the Christian to be in a place where they can better trust in the goodness and promises of God.  That has been my case today!