Thursday, 29 March 2012

Men and Marriage

It's time for chapter 3 of Mark Driscoll's book on marriage.  This chapter is entitled, 'Men and Marriage.'  I am aware that some of my friends will not like his complimentarian views.  He emphasises the role of the husband as head and provider. 

He criticises those he calls Tough Chauvinists ('No sissy-stuff Sam', 'Success-and-status Stewart', 'Give 'em Hell Hank', and 'I'm the boss Bob') and those he calls Tender Cowards ('Little-boy Larry', 'Sturdy-Oak Owen', 'Hyper-sensitive Henry', and 'Good-time Gary').  I didn't find all his caricatures recognisable in the people I know but then he is writing of people he observes in an American culture. 

His emphasis is on men stepping up and taking responsibility, and who could disagree with with his statement that the 'key to understanding masculinity is Jesus Christ.'  He suggests that we live in a day of delayed adolescence with many 'boys who can shave' type men.

He gives the practical advice of getting involved in a good church (he cites a report that claims that couples who attend church together report greater marital happiness, marital support, and romance in their marriages); agreeing on what the Bible says (I am thankful that Caroline tends not only agree with what I already believe but shares the same instincts as we explore new areas of understanding); and worshipping together in the home. 

Some quotes:
'Too many men are more like conquerors than explorers.  They get married - which is akin to landing on the beach of an unexplored land - yet fail to explore the landscape and all its wonders.  Our wives do not want to be conquered; they want to be explored emotionally.'
'A single woman should only marry a man she respects and trusts enough to follow.'
'You may read this chapter and think you are loving and leading well.  But it is your wife who gets to make the call on your performance.'

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