Don't let a bad motive stop you from doing a good thing!

I have a confession to make: I find preaching harder during the summer months! 

In our church there is no Sunday school in July and August so when you speak you are competing with restless kids.  There are also less people present, and I think they are less enthusiastic.  With the disjointed nature of summer attendance I am not working through a series to feel excited about.  All this is really shameful when you think about it, the opportunity to teach from God's Word and I am an unenthusiastic preacher.

Bad enough as all that is I had my vanity further exposed this weekend.

I had decided that I would preach from a full script this Sunday, instead of coping out the notes that I normally make to help me communicate more clearly.  Then I found out my friend Peter, and his friend Lionel, were coming to church.  What did I do?  I went to the effort of making my short notes, and I spent some time trying to improve my sermon.  Tell me, who do you think I was trying to impress?  Vanity!

What should I do?  Should I pack in the preaching realising that my motives are far from pure?  I am reminded of the advice someone gave me years ago: 'Don't let a bad motive stop you doing a good thing.'  This is not to excuse my self-centredness.  Indeed if ego is the only motivation a preacher has then they should probably seek to serve God in another way.  But if there is some desire to honour God, if I think he has gifted me to teach and if I have been assigned to feed a congregation then I should probably persist with that task. 

I also realised the need to spend more time cultivating my relationship with God so that he might continue to transform me from within.  Then it might really become less of me and more of him.